300th Post!!!

Who knew I would have made it this far...

So...I'm watching American Idol last night and I can't help but feel sorry for that idiot Ryan Seacrest. But before I get to that let me just say this, I swore up and down that I wasn't going to watch this damn show this season. Every year we get the same dreck: bad singers, attention seekers and an oft blitzed Paula Abdul. So in their attempt to "revamp" the show they've added a 4th judge. Unfortunately, I don't know who the hell she is other than the fact that she wrote some Celine Dion song and some of the tracks on the Paris Hilton shit storm unleashed on society in 2005. So far, it's looking like a train wreck which makes me want to watch it all the more.

Back to Ryan, so I sit there eating my stuffed shells watching the endless parade of hopefuls, some in bikini's, some in tap shoes and some with talent all the while, they keep hyping up the blind kid who is going to audition at the end. I'm thinking this guy better be fucking Stevie Wonder the way they are tauting him, anyway, he finally gets his big chance.

I hold me breath waiting for him to sing. He picks a Billy Joel song (ehhh, I was hoping for Mariah or something of that nature but I digress...) and starts to sing. Of course, they over hyped him and he wasn't spectacular or anything but he was good and they give him the golden ticket and he walks out to his cheering family. Here comes the sad part, as Ryan is interviewing him, Ryan tries to give the guy a high five completely oblivious to the fact that the guy is BLIND, HELLO! So he's standing there like an idiot with his hand in the air. Ugh, I choke holding back the laughter and wonder why they haven't replaced him yet.

To make a long story short, I'll be watching the second part tonight as well...

So You Think You Can Dance...

I was watching this show last night and I had to ask myself, "When did Mary Murphy become a full fledged drag queen?". She's got the bouffant hair going like something out of a 90's Ru Paul video and this leopard print bustier with lace edging, hooker gloves from Frederick's of Hollywood and make-up by someone who's obviously blind or hates her. I do like her though, she just needs to get a different stylist...

Then there's that total be-och Mia Michaels. What an ass. You can tell she is still working through those issues of being the ugly girl in a room full of beauties. It seems like every girl that danced was committing some sort of crime by the reviews she gave last night. Aside from the dance critiquing she got a little too personal for my liking and it made me think she was a very bitter See You Next Tuesday.

They also have these stupid montages or "snippets", if you will, of the dancers right before they perform. I guess they are supposed to get us better acquainted with their personalities so we can make a better voting decision but they all come off as fucking idiots to me. Some of these people are so annoying and fake it's ridiculous. My favorites are all the total queens trying to act like they actually like poon. One guy was saying, "Too bad she already has a boyfriend" as he flung his feather boa around his neck. I was born at night but not last night...

She Was Higher Than A Kite Last Night...

"Paula Abdul gets confused on 'Idol'"

http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/30/tv.americanidol.ap/index.html

This was a classic Paula moment last night. As I was watching I was thinking, "She's so high right now"...I kind of like her crystal ball technique of critiquing the singers. Let's heave upon them nonconstructive criticisms before they even sing the damn song. Whatever the hell she is on is totally mind blowing (and numbing for that matter). I have to ask my primary care Dr. for that prescription...

American Idol...

Well American Idol is upon us once again and I have already decided that I like the cute cherubic David Archuleta and that I absolutely can not stand that dirty haired Jason Castro. I was noticing that when they were doing the filmed intro's before they actually sing their song, he had flies buzzing around his head. The only thing that I thought of was that the flies were smelling some serious funk. I kinda barfed a little in my mouth after seeing that.

On a disappointing note, the stripper has gotten the boot. True he wasn't that great a singer but he was fun to look at. Oh well...I hope he didn't throw out the g-strings. They could come in handy now that the gravy train is over.