Octo-Mom...

I'm already getting tired of this dimwit. Please world, enough of the Octo-Mom! If you ignore her she will go away...Of course she's going to steal our tax dollars on the way out but at least she will go away!

I Hope It Was Trans-Fat Free Oil...

"Cosmetic surgery addict injected cooking oil into her own face"

This chick is probably one of the most pathetic creatures on the face of the earth.

So...is there anyone out there that would agree her rational for using her head as a pin cushion was: a) logical b) practical c) a sign that Obamamania has gotten out of control?

Looking at her pictures, it's hard to fault her for wanting to puff out her fucking face because it looks like a deflated balloon now that they let all the air out. I would think that by the time my face started rebelling against the surgeon's knife I would have thought twice about going back and said, "That's a wrap".

I believe this is a real disorder where people have addictions to plastic surgery. Another famous case that comes to mind besides the alien known as Michael Jackson is Jocelyne Wildenstein, or "Bride of Wildenstein" or "Wildebeast" as she is more commonly known as. Everytime I see her picture, I think of Rocky Dennis from the movie "Mask" starring the also afflicted Cher. Small world...

WAH!

"Devout Muslim sues Tesco for making him carry alcohol"

This douchebag needs to get a clue. At this point it doesn't surprise me what these so called "devout" religious donuts will sue for or protest at. And I'm not just talking about Muslims. It's basically all of them: Christians, Catholics, Scientologists, whatever. Unbelievable...

How in the world can you not know what in the hell your grocery employer sells? If you are stocking and moving freight, wouldn't you have the fucking sense to look around and see where you are putting that shit?

"Mr Ahmed, of Derby, who is suing the firm for racial discrimination, victimisation and harassment, should learn the outcome of the case later this week. "

So typical. I suppose the next thing he will sue for is the fact that they made him walk down the same aisle where the bacon was kept. And let's not stop there. How about having to use the same restroom that someone who drank alcohol and maybe ate a ham sandwich used previously, therefore, contaminating him and forcing him to endure undo persecution from pork and hops cooties scarring him for life leaving him unable to perform daily functions in a religiously healthy productive way.

I smell a rat and he is probably looking for a nice payout. He sounds like a lazy ass.

Hang These Bastards...

So, reading today's news articles I have got one thing to say: Any fucking creepy slimeball that fucks kids needs to die. End of story. These bastards are fucking gross, like:

This pig. He thinks consent is puberty and the Bible mandates him to diddle little girls.

This police officer thinks it's okay to barter sex with little girls through their mothers on the internet.

This loser kept a 13 year old girl as a sex slave in his MOTOR HOME and raped her every single day.

This perv used to give free molestations with the tennis lessons he provided.

And the sad thing is the list goes on...

Girlfriend Needs To Get A Grip...

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She Had It Coming...Probably...

"Grandmother rescues woman who was stabbed 20 times by stranger in supermarket attack"

I can totally relate to this story. Sometimes as I am shopping in the grocery store (well lets face it, shopping anywhere or just being out in public for that matter), I wouldn't mind beating the shit out of some stupid idiot with a pork loin or can of peas.

Unless this guy is a total psycho, which is not totally out of the question (it is England you know), she probably did something to piss him off such as taking the last package of Scott toilet tissue or monopolizing the frozen breakfast food section in the cooler...standing there wondering what to buy with the door open...fogging up the damn windows for the next person who in turn won't be able to make out what exactly is in the cooler because they can't see through the glass door...

On a similar note, I was cut off 3 fucking times in the cafeteria this morning while getting my usual grub for the start of another dull work day:

As I was reaching for a cup for my coffee, this inconsiderate bitch cuts right in front of me and takes the cup that I was reaching for. Literally bumping me out of the way.

As I was walking towards the jam for my bagel another inconsiderate bitch side-steps in front of me as she continues to talk to her friend blocking the condiment area and as I said "Excuse me", she looks at me and reaches for the jam that I am trying to get to. Then the bitch sticks that same jam spreader in the butter bin and spreads it all over the fucking place and then puts it back into the jam. Now, There is globs of butter floating in the grape jelly, yuck.

Then as I am about to check out another inconsiderate bitch runs in front of me to check out first and proceeds to hold up the line because she can't remember what the hell she ordered. So they have to go through her plate and calculate everything. Honestly, I think she was trying to get away with free shit but I am glad the cashier wasn't buying her sudden amnesia. Anyway, she also takes her time "finding" her money to pay for her breakfast causing me to waste more time.

So, in reading this article, I can seriously relate to wanting to bludgeon someone in a public place.

Creepy Old Guys...

I would like to know why there are always old creepy guys haunting the locker rooms at gyms?

I go to a certain gym which will remain nameless (rhymes with Bally's) and there are always these crusty old men walking around naked in the locker room. They are usually wet and have no towel in plain site. They almost remind me of those soggy rats you see on made for television horror movies running around city sewer systems after some apocalyptic catastrophe.

Sometimes they are "drying" themselves off with the wall unit air dryers made for your hands. I saw a very wrinkly fellow a few days ago pulling his ass cheeks apart and placing said ass in the airflow of the dryer. Not a pretty sight by any means. He turns around and is combing out his white pubic hair with his fingers in the airflow as well. Wouldn't it be more sanitary to use a towel. Sanitary for me? Like I want to go and use that dryer after this old guy put his fingers in his ass crack and through his pubes all the while adjusting the nozzle on the dryer and pushing the big chrome button to turn it on. I don't want my hand touching that thing after all that.

I always feel like I should say something but don't want to cause a scene. The funny thing is you never see these guys working out. They are just there in the locker room...naked...

Overexposed...

If I hear one more God damn thing about Micheal fucking Phelps I swear I am going to commit suicide by jumping in front of the first commuter train that comes into the local station!

Can the media give this guy any MORE coverage? Seriously? I mean it's not like there are other athletes there in Beijing or anything. It's not like I haven't heard every little factoid on his life. I want more! Please oh please!!!

I had to laugh at how every aspect of this guy's life is scrutinized, dissected and spun in ways to make it appear that he was on some collision course with destiny and how he is this great embodiment of the athletic ideal in the pool and out. How every American should aspire to be like Phelps. We should all bow to the alter of Michael and sacrifice our first born in his honor. YET, everyone of these diatribes and homages fail to mention his drunk driving arrest after the last Olympics. Typical of the American media...