Weave Me Alone...

"Port St. Lucie woman says ex-boyfriend snatched wig, rode away on bike"

God I love Florida.

Where else can you admit over a cell phone to the police to snatching your ex-girlfriend's wig, slapping her and then riding off into the sunset (well actually it was 3am but you get my drift) without fear of reprisal?

So...she had "naturally blond" hair underneath the black wig? Sounds fishy to me. I'm wondering if the blond hair wasn't a wig as well. And if so, why didn't she use the same glue on the black wig as she did the blond? At least that adhesive held, even with the added smack for good measure. Must have been Gorilla Glue...

The most awesome thing about the whole incident (well, second most awesome thing if you count her not knowing what the hell her ex-boyfriend's last name was...even though she lived with him for 8 months) was that he hung up on the police after they asked his name.

Are we still in the primitive age of not having the basic functions of caller ID? Was his name not programmed into her phone when he called? Actually, from all the evidence provided it might have been misspelled so scratch that one... Can we not call the carrier and get a name? There's enough technology out there to find out who the hell that is if we cared, but obviously, we don't.

I guess it's much more satisfying to speculate and ponder the stupid...at least I think so...

What Took So Long?...

"Victim's kin file suit in Wal-Mart stampede death"

I was beginning to think that the bloodsucking vampire lawyers were all safely sleeping in their dirt filled coffins in the basements of their tree lined McMansion subdivisions before I read this one.

Thank God opportunity strikes! And at Wal-Mart no less.

Well, I'm actually not surprised that they were going to sue but I am surprised it took so long for them to file the lawsuit. 3 business days! I mean Christmas is fast approaching and you'd think they'd want that Wal-Mart money AT LEAST before the end of this week to get that Wii game system or new flat screen LCD TV. Because you know, they'll be all sold out before the 25th...

I don't get why they are suing the police department though. It's not like it's their job to "police" the doorways of every retail store giving away free toasters or kitty litter with every $100.00 in purchases. You'd think the managers of said stores would somehow herd the crowd in some form BEFORE the doors are opened, but, alas this happens every year.

Next year I'm taking bets on which store will have the first casualty. I'm placing mine on Fashion Bug, the store for "Rubenesque" or zoftig women...