I Feel Like Chicken Tonight! Like Chicken Tonight!...

" Pimp paid prostitute with chicken nuggets"

Hmmm...Sounds like this chick was really classy.

I wonder what she does for a McRib?

If You Feel Something Kicking, Just Aim It To The Left...

"Pregnant Prostitutes To Face Charges "

This is totally nasty.

I used to have a friend who was preggers and unbeknownst to me, I later discovered that she was "dating" men who had a penchant for distended bellies and breast milk.

Gross - I know. We went to high school together and I have since lost touch. Probably for the best actually, LOL...

I like how one of the women was 8 months pregnant. Can you imagine hiring her and in the middle of whatever you were paying for the water breaks! Very classy...

Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Do I Just Start Blowing You Here?...

"Women arrested in sex competition"

Finally a sport that I could feasibly get into!

So, my first question would be: How much was the first place prize worth? And my second question is: How much time would I get to "practice"?

You know these were stupid college girls all drunk on holiday getting loud and obnoxious in a bar. The bar owners probably saw an "in" when one of them most likely got on the bar and started to drop cloth and the idea was probably born at that time.

Ah, the memories of college life come flying back. The late night parties. The enormous amounts of booze and cigarettes. The vomitous climax after crawling back to the dorm. Good times, good times...

Insert Midget Joke Here...

"Young Runaway's Alleged Dwarf Pimp To Face Judge"

Sister of Mini-Me on the loose...

LOL! Damn, this little ho had it all worked out! I love the person that gave the interview that said, "I didn't know she was a pimp, but I'm not surprised." You know she was a hardcore rival of that munchkin in the housing project world of prostitution. She probably had a few runaways locked in the closet somewhere herself.

Seriously, how do you let some 3 foot 9 inch chick intimidate you? Even at 15 years old I wouldn't have been afraid to at the very least kick the damn thing and run. And what's with those prices? $100.00 for a blow job? What? Did she have fucking magic lips? I actually can't even think of a situation where I would pay for a blow job let alone give out a Benjamin for one...

After reading this article, I totally envisioned that the mini-pimp resembled Chucky from the child's play movies...

Suck In The Gut Baby... Redux...

I also saw this winner on the news last night and I was right, as I wrote earlier in the week here, she is a pig. She was giving an interview with a reporter and came off as a total golddigger. First of all, she's in her 50's. Not to say that women of a certain age can't wear sexy undies, but would you really want to see that? And don't bring up Kim Cattrall...there are always exceptions, of course, and this mess was not even close. Secondly, I saw no sign of trauma to her eye or any lasting effects and it seemed like she was just totally looking for a way to bank some quick dough...

Have Her Change His Depends While She's At It...

"Call Girls at Nursing Home Fuel Debate in Denmark "

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=aVUcop17mg7s

LOL! Okay, who knew so much went down at nursing homes? Earlier this week we had crack buying grannies and now hookers on speed dial? Interesting how the "demeanor" of the resident changed for the better after the "visit". Just don't give him a cigarette after if he is on an oxygen tank...

...And She Paid For The Hookers Too!...

''SILDA KNEW OF HOOKERS"

http://www.nypost.com/seven/04102008/gossip/pagesix/silda_knew_of_hookers_105905.htm

I believe this like I believe there really is a Santa Claus. I like how a lot men that pork around say this very thing...

Reservation For Two Please...NYC's Newest Hot Spot-The Clinic!...

"HOW'S TRICKS? ELIOT AND SILDA OUT IN PUBLIC"

http://www.nypost.com/seven/04092008/news/regionalnews/hows_tricks__105605.htm

I LOVE this headline, ha ha ha. Maybe they were there for an STD test? I'm wondering what in the hell she is waiting for? I would have dropped this sucker ALONG time ago. It makes her seem desperate or lacking in self esteem that she can't look this fool in the eye and say goodbye, HELLO!...(That just reminded me of that Beatles song, "...You say goodbye and I say hello. Hello, hello! I don't know why you say goodbye...)

I Wonder What You Get For A Step-Sister?...

"Police Allege New Mexico Man Traded Sister For Heroin"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,347068,00.html

The hilarious part of the article is this little gem:

"The woman told police it wasn't the first time her brother traded her for drugs but that he'd never given "full custody" of her before. Previously, "she would have to go with the males that he would trade her to and then she would be released," police said."

What is she fucking retarded or have Down's possibly? Good grief. Only in New Mexico...

A Possible New Wedding Dress Fad?

"REMY MA TO WED BEHIND BARS"

http://www.nypost.com/seven/04042008/news/regionalnews/wife_sentence_104925.htm

I love the picture in this article, HA HA HA! Awesome. At least she can wear whatever she wants as long as it makes it through the metal detector. I like how you have to be in jail for at least 7 months before you can set up an "appointment" to do the nasty.

Seems to be a day for trainwrecks...

NY Love Gov...

So the girl behind the sex scandal turns out to be a high school drop out that was homeless at one point and had "family issues". Well, DUH! Did we think that she was going to be the high school valedictorian or a school crossing guard? Maybe a champion for animal rights and social security reform? I'm just surprised she has all her teeth. Give her a week. She'll be telling all the nasty details to some rag sheet. I can't wait!