Ahhh, The Grocery Store...

"20 Most Annoying Things at the Grocery Store"

Here's another interesting article from WalletPop. 20 things that piss you the fuck off at the grocery store.

While reading this, I was brought back to the days of my old neighborhood here in Hartford, CT. Actually, since I just moved it would have been within the last month but who's counting...Anyway, all of the irritating habits and situations listed here could be found ALL THE TIME in ANY AISLE! Being that the nearest grocery store was basically near one of the worst parts of town (think about that old man who was run over and left in the street while people walked by), you get to experience some of the worst attitudes and manners outside of NYC and Jersey.

I would have to agree with #5 "express lane abuse". But what kills me even more is when this occurs and the cashier doesn't say shit to the offender. A simple "I'm sorry, this is the express lane", would suffice. But, alas, they usually do nothing. I was in line once in said grocery store and the person brought 2 shopping carts into the express lane. Yes, 2! I was totally ripped as it was and when the cashier just rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and started to scan their items - I lost it. I simply asked the person if they were aware of the 10 items or less sign right in front of them and the response was, "Yo no hablo inglés." After hearing that I figured it was probably not a battle that I was going to win so I ate crow and waited my turn.

One thing that I did not see on the list and seems to be running rampant is "People who don't know how to use the electronic/payment pad". I don't know what world these people have been living in for the past 10 years, but everywhere you go these days payment pads abound. Do you buy liquor? Payment pad. Do you rent movies? Payment pad. Do you buy clothes at Wal-Mart? Payment pad. You have to have used one or two somewhere sometime prior to coming into the grocery store today. Some people even act like they don't even know how to swipe the damn card through the machine. Even though there is a picture and arrow showing you which side to swipe and what direction, it obviously is too much for some people to handle. Then of course the simple act of remembering their PIN number can be a test of wills and patience. God forbid if they need some cash back...

The crying kids are annoying yes, but what's worse is the mother of said kid going all ghetto on the child. Here at previously mentioned grocery store, not only will the parents scream back at their kids but they will also string a nice clustering of obscenities into the tirade. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "shut da fuck up" or "I gon kick yo fucking azz" drifting on the air over the shelves from the next aisle. The parenting seems to be measured in how loud they can yell and scream at the kid. The louder and more offensive, the better. Whatever happened to dignity people?

Another item that wasn't covered are the people who are on the cell phone the whole time they are in the store. From the time they set foot in that door until the time they leave, whether it be shopping for food, roaming the aisles or checking out (which really sucks), they are on that phone come hell or high water. Excuse me? You want me to pay for this shit I brought up here right now? How dare you interrupt my phone conversation. I was telling my baby daddy about that bitch in aisle 3!

Here's a side note observation: I'm not going to say ALL of the people because that would not be accurate but MOST of the people are paying with an EBT card (food stamps) yet they have the most expensive phone, their nails are done exquisitely, they have the good wigs (real human hair probably) or weaves and the name brand clothes. I don't have money for food, but I have money for my nails and hair! Nice to see our taxes are going to good use...

I like the combo offenses as well: the screaming profane mother on the phone who forgot their PIN number. Yep, I'm going to miss that store. Good times, good times...

Rectal Probes On The Horizon...

"Fliers Complain About X-Rated Security Screenings: TSA Agents Forced Woman To Remove Nipple Rings, Pulled Pants Off Disabled Man"

This is totally what it's come to.

I can actually see both sides of the coin on this one but there is a key statement in this whole article:

"But experts have said it's important to use common sense when balancing security and customer service."

I recently flew to Florida on vacation and can appreciate the heightened security measures as they are in place to protect everyone on that plane as well as the people on the ground. But there was also some security people who acted like they were the fucking Gestapo. Was very disturbing.

As for making someone take out their nipple rings, that's just plain stupid. I hope that women sues the shit out of the airline and that specific idiot who made her use pliers to take them off.

And the guard who pulled down the old man's pants...If that was me I would have bitch slapped the asshole. Jail or no jail, you don't do that shit right out in the open. Take the guy to a room and then have him pull his pants down.

Where is the common sense in all of this?

Who Ordered The Microwaveable Rat In A Bag Special?...

"Wisconsin Woman Accused of Planting Dead Rat in Own Food"

What a nutcase...

Everyone knows that if your are going to plant a rodent in your food, you sure as hell better use a field mouse and not a white lab right you stupid idiot!

I think that her punishment should be to actually eat the rat, tail and all, exactly as she had planted it in her food. Maybe we could televise it also or simply make a new reality show about extortionist crime or stupid criminals in which the punishments are dealt out before a live studio audience. Probably be better than most of the dreck that's out there now...

Real World Nature Documentaries...

I was quite surprised to see that spiders exhibit some of the same traits as some of my neighbors here in Hartford...

A Penny For Your Thoughts and $10.00 For A Dime Bag...

"Ohio Man Serves Jail Time for Daughter's Failure to Get GED"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354990,00.html

I have to admit that I like how this judge operates. Now if we can only get him to throw parents in jail for letting their kids wear those God awful baggy pants that let dirty asses hang out over the belt line and I would totally vote for this guy to be President. By the way, isn't the math portion on that test really simple? Like counting change and shit like that? My guess is the girl is either knocked up at this point or has spewed forth a couple kids already, so they should put it in her terms. For instance: You have $10.00 and your babies need some Similac and Pampers. How many dime bags of weed do you need to sell in order to make up the difference to purchase both items and a bag of Cheetos for the baby (as this would be a staple of their nutritional menu most likely)? I bet she'd pass with flying colors!...

A Funny Joke I Was Sent This Morning...

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and a mask over their eyes .

After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and a mask. He said, "You are the woman of my life! I love you...Then we made love all night long."

The mistress stated: "Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night."

The married one then said: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and a mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'"

What Money Can Buy...

"What the Hell Happened to Your Face?"

http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/what_the_hell_happened_to_your_face#1

My God...If you can't grow old gracefully, jump off a bridge and end it. Some of these people are so damn nasty looking. I kinda think that Donatella Versace looks a lot like Janice from The Muppets. All she needs is a vest and a tambourine...

American Idol...

Well American Idol is upon us once again and I have already decided that I like the cute cherubic David Archuleta and that I absolutely can not stand that dirty haired Jason Castro. I was noticing that when they were doing the filmed intro's before they actually sing their song, he had flies buzzing around his head. The only thing that I thought of was that the flies were smelling some serious funk. I kinda barfed a little in my mouth after seeing that.

On a disappointing note, the stripper has gotten the boot. True he wasn't that great a singer but he was fun to look at. Oh well...I hope he didn't throw out the g-strings. They could come in handy now that the gravy train is over.