Gazongas Galore...

"Record-Breaking Breasts"

Melons

Um...What was this idiot thinking? Someone needs to tell her that she looks like she has a naked ass on her chest...and not in a good way.

I seriously think that those things smell like cheese in the folds under the actual boobs. How can she possibly reach around and clean under there? For that matter, how can she put on her damn socks and shoes!!! Something tells me she's probably wearing stilettos though. It's kind of hard to swing around a stripper pole in flats...

I Hope It Was Trans-Fat Free Oil...

"Cosmetic surgery addict injected cooking oil into her own face"

This chick is probably one of the most pathetic creatures on the face of the earth.

So...is there anyone out there that would agree her rational for using her head as a pin cushion was: a) logical b) practical c) a sign that Obamamania has gotten out of control?

Looking at her pictures, it's hard to fault her for wanting to puff out her fucking face because it looks like a deflated balloon now that they let all the air out. I would think that by the time my face started rebelling against the surgeon's knife I would have thought twice about going back and said, "That's a wrap".

I believe this is a real disorder where people have addictions to plastic surgery. Another famous case that comes to mind besides the alien known as Michael Jackson is Jocelyne Wildenstein, or "Bride of Wildenstein" or "Wildebeast" as she is more commonly known as. Everytime I see her picture, I think of Rocky Dennis from the movie "Mask" starring the also afflicted Cher. Small world...

Sheniqua, Go And Get Me A Popsicle...

"Mom tells cops icy bodies in freezer are her kids"

Damn, remind me not to ask this psycho to babysit my pugs in the near future!

I must admit, this is a great way to deter childhood rebellions. Just tell them the story of the freezer fairy and I'm sure they will end up eating their veggies and cleaning their rooms...

She kind of looks like the love child of Jabba the Hut and Krusty the clown from the Simpsons with that weave on her head.

Just a question: How does one choose the proper shoe for a beating? Do I go with the steel-toed or the hard-heeled? Or can I use both? And when is it appropriate to involve the cord around the neck or is that for the more advanced course?

I can only imagine how the shit got on her shirt. I like the cut of her jibe though, jumping out of the window all Texas Chainsaw Massacre style and running for the hills. Totally disturbing...

Creepy Old Guys...

I would like to know why there are always old creepy guys haunting the locker rooms at gyms?

I go to a certain gym which will remain nameless (rhymes with Bally's) and there are always these crusty old men walking around naked in the locker room. They are usually wet and have no towel in plain site. They almost remind me of those soggy rats you see on made for television horror movies running around city sewer systems after some apocalyptic catastrophe.

Sometimes they are "drying" themselves off with the wall unit air dryers made for your hands. I saw a very wrinkly fellow a few days ago pulling his ass cheeks apart and placing said ass in the airflow of the dryer. Not a pretty sight by any means. He turns around and is combing out his white pubic hair with his fingers in the airflow as well. Wouldn't it be more sanitary to use a towel. Sanitary for me? Like I want to go and use that dryer after this old guy put his fingers in his ass crack and through his pubes all the while adjusting the nozzle on the dryer and pushing the big chrome button to turn it on. I don't want my hand touching that thing after all that.

I always feel like I should say something but don't want to cause a scene. The funny thing is you never see these guys working out. They are just there in the locker room...naked...

Not Tonight Honey, My Head Hurts...

"Man Beheads Girlfriend in Greece, Fled in Patrol Car"

Good grief, how many of these beheadings are going to pop up now? First this one and now another?

Who knew that it was such a popular method in which to murder and violate your victim's body. I would have thought a simple shooting or poisoning with deadly nightshade would suffice. Apparently, that is much too gauche for these individuals. At least each one put their own spin on the deadly affair. The Canadian bus rider thought it would be fun to eat his victim right there in the aisle while the Greek guy beheaded the dog as well and then threw his girlfriends' head in a patrol car and went for a nice Sunday stroll through the city running over motorcyclists to boot.

On a sick note, I found the last line of this FOX News story: "As the police fired at Arvanitis to stop him, a stray bullet hit a woman bystander, injuring her slightly, police said. ", completely hilarious. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This would totally be my luck. Getting struck by a stray bullet that was meant for a psychotic head chopping NASCAR reject.

Thinking about this mode of, shall we say, elimination, I would think it's probably not the best way to handle things. Not to get gross or anything because I am a VERY PROPER type (cough), I think it would be entirely too messy for my taste. In my case, I'd probably want to kill MYSELF halfway through the deed from being sick to my stomach. Disgusting...

Hopefully, this is the last of the head severing we'll hear about, for awhile at least...

Here we Go Again, AGAIN!...

"Arrest Made in Death of Pregnant North Carolina Soldier"

Are we going to have one of these every week now?

As I wrote previously, WHO THE HELL are they letting into the military? It's becoming a fucking joke. It used to be prestigious and held some air of dignity and respect when someone was active in the military, now it seems that the current crop of recruits are destroying that reputation with stupid ass antics.

I was saying that the punishment should be more harsh than it currently is but screw that. Why don't they just gas these guys right off the bat. Screw the trial, to hell with the lawyers, just take them directly to the gas chamber.

It seems like if your preggers in the military, you better watch your ass...

I wonder what the powers that be are doing to try and control and most importantly STOP this behaviour. In all actuality, what can be done?

Sick Bastard...

"EX-CON GETS LIFE FOR COLUMBIA STUDENT TORTURE"

These kinds of monsters are real and they are out there people...

Not much shocks me but this came pretty close. The things he did to this poor girl are so gruesome, I would be able to write a few horror novels from that material.

I hope he gets his comeuppance in Riker's. I'm sure there are a few people ready to greet him there...