I Feel Like Chicken Tonight! Like Chicken Tonight!...

" Pimp paid prostitute with chicken nuggets"

Hmmm...Sounds like this chick was really classy.

I wonder what she does for a McRib?

Octo-Mom...

I'm already getting tired of this dimwit. Please world, enough of the Octo-Mom! If you ignore her she will go away...Of course she's going to steal our tax dollars on the way out but at least she will go away!

My Girlfriend Is Patent Pending...

"Blow-up Doll Party: Floridian nabbed for public ménage a trois with plastic partners"

Disturbing...

This guy is either totally ahead of his time in the artificial girlfriend department or he's just totally lonely.

After reading the article I would add "totally clueless" as well. When having sex with blow-up dolls, you must first take your pants off...I know this not from experience but from a good friend named Kathleen. (She's freaky like that...Shhh don't tell anyone)

Really?...

So...I was walking into work yesterday and saw this pregnant chick outside smoking while rubbing her enormous belly. Really?

Obviously she has not read the God damn Surgeon General's warning on the pack which is PLAIN AS DAY. I almost expected her to have one tooth in her head and pull out a flask of her poison of choice right there in the smoker's paradise (the little enclosed area where you are allowed to smoke on site).

What was ridiculous is there were about 5 other people out there smoking as well and they were totally ignoring the fact that there was a preggo idiot huffing on a menthol. Literally the pink elephant in the room...

If You Feel Something Kicking, Just Aim It To The Left...

"Pregnant Prostitutes To Face Charges "

This is totally nasty.

I used to have a friend who was preggers and unbeknownst to me, I later discovered that she was "dating" men who had a penchant for distended bellies and breast milk.

Gross - I know. We went to high school together and I have since lost touch. Probably for the best actually, LOL...

I like how one of the women was 8 months pregnant. Can you imagine hiring her and in the middle of whatever you were paying for the water breaks! Very classy...

No Sex With Kids...

"Romania Allows 11-Year-Old Alleged Rape Victim to Have Late Abortion"

Some people are seriously deranged. What motivates someone to rape a child?...

This is truly a sad situation. First of all, anyone that gets off on getting off with kids is a fucking gross pig. I don't see how anyone can find sex with a child erotic in ANY way. It's so taboo that even the thought of it makes me squirm.

So, this got me thinking, marrying off your children back in the "old days" was completely acceptable. You had children as young as 12 getting hitched and sent to live with their new found spouse by themselves. When did society start to turn on this one and decide that it was not okay to pimp out your child to the highest bidder? When did we all of a sudden get a conscience and say, "Hey, this is not acceptable."?

I would agree with the parents and the child, for that matter, in this case, in that , I think she would be terribly traumatized with 1) having to go through the birthing process at such a young age 2) the stigma of having had a child in her community and school and 3) having to look at that child everyday and know that he/she was a product of a dirty little secret that she once had to hold inside of herself, literally.

Then you have these anti-abortion zealots who are supposedly thinking of the unborn child but in all actuality, they are thinking of themselves and passing judgement and their own moral compass onto others. You get this with groups condemning homosexuality all the time as well.

I actually got into an argument in college with some anti-abortion protesters once in the Student Union building. They were showing pictures of abortions right there in the Union and they were very graphic and all I could think of was how perverted the whole staging of the protest was. They came off as bullying people into conforming with their religious beliefs and it was pretty scary. So I asked the guy who was handing out the fliers if he knew exactly why that particular child was aborted and he actually responded that he didn't care, it was just wrong to kill a baby. I was dumbfounded. I then asked if he was going to support that child when it came out and he said that wasn't his decision to make and that the parents of the child needed to take responsibility for their actions. So I asked him "What if she was raped?" and I can't really remember anything more of what was said because he started in on me about Jesus and religion and the "Bible says this", etc. It's funny how these religious groups always start in with "the Bible says" crap. I wonder what society would be like if we all lived the literal translations of The Good Book.

Come to think of it, I always wondered why they allowed that to take place in the Union actually...

Insert Midget Joke Here...

"Young Runaway's Alleged Dwarf Pimp To Face Judge"

Sister of Mini-Me on the loose...

LOL! Damn, this little ho had it all worked out! I love the person that gave the interview that said, "I didn't know she was a pimp, but I'm not surprised." You know she was a hardcore rival of that munchkin in the housing project world of prostitution. She probably had a few runaways locked in the closet somewhere herself.

Seriously, how do you let some 3 foot 9 inch chick intimidate you? Even at 15 years old I wouldn't have been afraid to at the very least kick the damn thing and run. And what's with those prices? $100.00 for a blow job? What? Did she have fucking magic lips? I actually can't even think of a situation where I would pay for a blow job let alone give out a Benjamin for one...

After reading this article, I totally envisioned that the mini-pimp resembled Chucky from the child's play movies...

If This Cardboard Box Is A Rockin'...

"Report: Gloucester Teens Had Pact To Get Pregnant"

Stupid pregnant teens irk me. There's just something sad about a girl who doesn't have the brains or will power to keep her legs crossed...

Are you kidding me? Seriously, what a bunch of morons to even think this was anywhere in the vicinity of a good idea. Our country is totally going to hell and it's starting to really become a contest among the millions of idiots out there as to who can become the next outrageous headline. Like this:

"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," he told Time.

LOL! Where are all the parenting skills in this country. People need to start taking control over their kids, start beating their kids asses more often and stop letting them run fucking amok...

Would You Like A Push-Pop Or A Ding-A-Ling Push-Up?...

"Ice Cream Truck Driver Charged With Raping Girl, 13, He Met on MySpace"

Do you have anymore of those Ding-A-Ling specials?

Oh my. Where the fuck were these ice cream trucks when I was a hungry 13 year old? Truly a fitting company name for this driver. Of course, the question that I always ask is: Was he hot?...

Every time I see these child molestation articles I always think of my high school principal who was arrested for playing with boy's pink-bits. He later died in jail. I always thought that maybe I was ugly because he never made a move on me when I was in school. Although I was in his office one day and it was really kind of creepy. He had this kinky hair and Charles Nelson Riley glasses. He always wore these cowboy boots, polyester pants with a rodeo type buckle on the belt and these odd looking ties that always seemed to be striped and multi-colored. He was pretty cool, aside from the molesting thing, and you could call him CJ instead of his proper name. My good friend lived on the other side of the wall from him and never mentioned any shenanigans on his part, which is strange because they all had bodies from hell. He probably watched them from his upstairs window (he had a three story house, I know, on a Principal's salary) and had relations with himself. Awkward...

Not Another One...

"Disney Star Selena Gomez Pledges to Abstain From Sex Until Marriage"

Her hole's on lock down...or so she says...

You know, I am getting sick and tired of these little Disney chicks coming out and pledging their virginity until they get married. I remember when that ho Britney said the same thing and it turned out she had already been porked by Justin Timberfake. It's all a gimmick to get popular with the Tween Set's parents. Why in the hell is the teen pregnancy rate going up when kids have so many supposedly "good influential" role models to look up to? The minute she sees a big old tube steak she'll start to rethink that promise she made to God.

When her sex tape/risque lesbo pictures a la' Hannah Montana/secretly recorded racist rant comes out they won't waste any time parading out the new golden child while simultaneously throwing this one under the bus. I give her 2 years before she is either preggo or in rehab...

My Toilet Is Backed Up, Can I Use You?...

"The tape's not a fake, R. Kelly jury hears"

Pedophile

This gross child rapist will do and say anything to get off, literally.

The conspiracy theories abound on the part of the defense in this case. First they were trying to say that it's not him because R. Kelly has a mole on his back and the perv in the video doesn't have one. Now they are saying that it's all computer generated to make it look like him. What is this? A bad episode of fucking Law and Order? Why doesn't the prosecution say that maybe the mole was removed by special effects editing? That would be interesting. And seriously, we're talking 10 years ago at the very least. For someone to have access to those kinds of editing programs back then would have cost a fortune and take so much time. I doubt anyone would have the resources or the drive to do that.

I truly hope that they convict this pig. He even pisses on the girl at the end of the video. So nasty...

Keep It Down Back There, I'm Trying To Get Some Sleep!...

"Officials investigating middle school sex video"

http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=8333487

This is the quality of care the kids get in this area. How can you not know that two of your students are fucking right there in the middle of class? Are you that oblivious and unaware that when there are two kids with their pants down IN CLASS, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY that it is probably not appropriate behaviour? Who hires these retards anyway? Give it a few days before every parent of every child that was in that room sues the shit out of the school district for gross neglect and endangering the welfare of a minor...And we wonder where our tax dollars go...

The Sewers Are Full And The Rats Are Scampering...

"Clinton Superdelegate Reveals He Voted for Obama"

http://news.yahoo.com/s/cq/20080514/pl_cq_politics/politics2841491

I say this not because I am a Hill-billie but...Where is the fucking loyalty in our country these days. I would say the same thing if this was reversed. It seems like whomever has the momentum is like the piper leading the rats out of the city. When the other person plays his pipe louder they all follow that person, so it goes back and forth, back and forth... Just goes to show you that politicians are total liars and untrustworthy. I think Hillary should run as an independent with Gore. You know Obama is going to choose Edwards after yesterday's joke endorsement in Michigan...

A Penny For Your Thoughts and $10.00 For A Dime Bag...

"Ohio Man Serves Jail Time for Daughter's Failure to Get GED"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354990,00.html

I have to admit that I like how this judge operates. Now if we can only get him to throw parents in jail for letting their kids wear those God awful baggy pants that let dirty asses hang out over the belt line and I would totally vote for this guy to be President. By the way, isn't the math portion on that test really simple? Like counting change and shit like that? My guess is the girl is either knocked up at this point or has spewed forth a couple kids already, so they should put it in her terms. For instance: You have $10.00 and your babies need some Similac and Pampers. How many dime bags of weed do you need to sell in order to make up the difference to purchase both items and a bag of Cheetos for the baby (as this would be a staple of their nutritional menu most likely)? I bet she'd pass with flying colors!...