No News Of Interest Today...

So, I'm reading my normal online rags and it seems like it's the same shit from yesterday. Maybe there will be something of interest later in the day...

Interesting Morning...

So...I'm dragging my ass outside with the pugs this morning because they need to shit and pee and I'd rather they do that outside than in and I hear what sounds like a cross between some good sex and a whiny celebutard coming from one of the condos near the elevator. The overly vocal female engaging in said sausage hiding technique sounded like she was liking it but was moaning and "screaming" in this whiny voice. It reminded me of a sorority girl trying to decide which Louis Vatton strap to buy for her purse. It was painful. Not too mention, ANY of the single guys on my floor are seriously hot so I was a bit jealous. That elevator certainly did take it's sweet time getting to my floor...

Anyway, we finally make it to the pugs favorite dumping area and I see my neighbor standing outside smoking a cigarette all stealth-like. The same person who was lecturing me on the hazards of smoking a few months ago. Well, kettle, I was curious as to why he was smoking and the look on his face was priceless! Busted. By the way, He said he was stressed...

So...We get back up to our floor and the hallway is dead silent. Mission accomplished in whatever bedroom that was previously alive with nookie. Dogs get fed and watered and I leave for work. As I get outside, I see something on my vehicle and it's a piece of string (resembling a shoe string) with the words "danger" embroidered throughout. Weird. Then, of course, my superstitious mind starts to wonder if it's a sign and if I will die on the way to work. So far I'm still alive...

Almost too much excitement on a Tuesday morning...

How Evil Am I?...

Interesting...Here are my results:

You Are 62% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you...A lot.

http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/

I actually thought that I was more evil than that. Kind of disappointing actually...

No News Of interest...

Well, after a relaxing and unproductive weekend there is nothing new that's happening in the world. There's still the crazy molester dad in Europe who locked his daughter up forever and impregged her like 7 times, there's the Mariah wedding thing, did she or didn't she (who cares, really)?, Obama and Hilly still at each other's throats, The president of Iran is still being a douchebag and finally some horse died after some race. Maybe there will be some goodies after lunch today? Hopefully...

Gross Aside...

Slow news day today and nothing interesting to comment on, so I will tell you about a gross incident that happened to me yesterday...

I was walking to my truck in a parking garage in lovely downtown Hartford when it happened. I was a few feet behind this massive (tall and fat) dread-headed guy when I noticed that the air suddenly turned warm and then I smelled something like hamburgers. I looked to see if the guy was carrying a Burger King bag or something (it had that flame broiled tinge to it) and he wasn't. Then I realized that I probably just walked through a cloud of his fart and immediately my stomach started to turn. I hurried and walked around him and he never made eye contact with me, a sure sign he was guilty. Just thinking about it brings back post-traumatic stress syndrome...

Another Slow News Day...

After a great weekend in Maine, back to reality...and no interesting news...

Ughh...Slow News Day...

Well, I could ponder over whether Ashley Simpson is preggers (will be an ugly baby), how Tom Cruise may be worried that Katie is not eating because of Posh Spice (pray to Xenu that she comes around), Rob Lowe's nanny crisis (she's lying most likely, golddigger), Heather Mills being a judge on the Miss USA pageant (ROFL! Like she has any idea of what beauty is, soulless vulture) or any number of celebs being arrested for DUI but honestly, who really gives a fuck?...