Ponder This Please...

Hmmm...Can someone please explain why this is the headline on FoxNews.com:

URGENT: Boy George Sentenced to 15 Months in Jail

You know, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and the breaking news story is that Boy George is going to have to reenact every rape scene from the HBO series "OZ" for the next 15 months. Really?

If I was him I'd sue my lawyer for not bringing up the fact that this was a total job hazard the escort should have considered when first joining the profession. And with the past exploits of Boy George widely publicized, it was very apparent that chains, handcuffs and flogging would be part of the "hiring requirements", if you will.

I suppose the next thing that will happen is a plane crash where nobody dies...

WAH!

"Devout Muslim sues Tesco for making him carry alcohol"

This douchebag needs to get a clue. At this point it doesn't surprise me what these so called "devout" religious donuts will sue for or protest at. And I'm not just talking about Muslims. It's basically all of them: Christians, Catholics, Scientologists, whatever. Unbelievable...

How in the world can you not know what in the hell your grocery employer sells? If you are stocking and moving freight, wouldn't you have the fucking sense to look around and see where you are putting that shit?

"Mr Ahmed, of Derby, who is suing the firm for racial discrimination, victimisation and harassment, should learn the outcome of the case later this week. "

So typical. I suppose the next thing he will sue for is the fact that they made him walk down the same aisle where the bacon was kept. And let's not stop there. How about having to use the same restroom that someone who drank alcohol and maybe ate a ham sandwich used previously, therefore, contaminating him and forcing him to endure undo persecution from pork and hops cooties scarring him for life leaving him unable to perform daily functions in a religiously healthy productive way.

I smell a rat and he is probably looking for a nice payout. He sounds like a lazy ass.

Can You Say Pig?...

"Plan being made to lift 'Bruce' the pig siege: Bruce the pig held woman captive "

Oh the trials and tribulations of having to raise an animal.

I find it fascinating that the people actually thought it was rude of the pig to be a total pig when it came to food. What the hell did you think it was going to do? Ask politely for more food and sit at the dinner table with a fork and knife? It's a PIG for crying out loud! Their jobs are to be PIGS. Nothing more and nothing less. Bruce was probably pissed that the bitch was a vegetarian and was in need of some chicken or something meaty, poor thing.

It's hilarious that he so dramatically "held her captive", HA HA HA! I was imagining some pig in camouflage with a bandanna and a machine gun holding up a little old lady for some grub. Some stealth pig hiding behind the outhouse door waiting for granny to drop the kids at the pool, or cesspool in this case. Too funny.

Actually, this pig reminds me of my pug Pugsley. He can get quite demanding when it comes to food and treats. The poor thing is 38 pounds and the average pug weighs in betwixt 20 and 25lbs. I got my ass reamed by the vet last week about it, but he seems like he is in good spirits and is sprightly and determined so I will let it be for now. When the little bastard starts to bite me and knock on my door at 4am, it's totally Jenny Craig time for his ass...

Girlfriend Needs To Get A Grip...

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Tom Is Going To Be Pissed...

"Scientologists charged with fraud in France"

Is this a surprise to anyone with half a brain?

For starters, if your being recruited for a "church" outside of a train station, or any other station for that matter (bus, train, gas, TV, hot dog...) then the zealots that are hounding you are probably crazy and full of shit. If said zealots are trying to sell you something then add shady to that list. God, or any other deity, doesn't want your money - he/she wants your soul. It's that simple.

These Scientologists are a scary species no doubt. It seems that they prey on the weak minded and after they have conquered your mind they go for your wallet. Any industry that makes you pay in order to "move up through the ranks" is either a scam (remember Amway?) or a higher learning institution. The only other place I have been financially raped and sodomized is college and the hell if I'm going to let a space alien do that to me as well!

What exactly is this religion about anyway. As far as I understand, you have to pay a certain amount of money to reach different plateaus of enlightenment within the organization and then you have to aggressively recruit other members in conjunction with the money you are shelling out so they can "donate" as well. The more money these people bring in under you, the higher you go. Sounds like a fucking pyramid scheme to me.

I watched the videos Toad Cruise made to entice other people to join and he seemed to be somewhat, okay who am I kidding, A LOT deluded and really creepy weird. Anyone who is prone to sudden fits of maniacal laughter followed by a dead stare into your eyes is not well. I'm just saying...Anyway I digress...The mere act of viewing these videos turned me off to the program. Besides the test to get in was way too long, so I gave up around question 25...

Not Tonight Honey, My Head Hurts...

"Man Beheads Girlfriend in Greece, Fled in Patrol Car"

Good grief, how many of these beheadings are going to pop up now? First this one and now another?

Who knew that it was such a popular method in which to murder and violate your victim's body. I would have thought a simple shooting or poisoning with deadly nightshade would suffice. Apparently, that is much too gauche for these individuals. At least each one put their own spin on the deadly affair. The Canadian bus rider thought it would be fun to eat his victim right there in the aisle while the Greek guy beheaded the dog as well and then threw his girlfriends' head in a patrol car and went for a nice Sunday stroll through the city running over motorcyclists to boot.

On a sick note, I found the last line of this FOX News story: "As the police fired at Arvanitis to stop him, a stray bullet hit a woman bystander, injuring her slightly, police said. ", completely hilarious. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This would totally be my luck. Getting struck by a stray bullet that was meant for a psychotic head chopping NASCAR reject.

Thinking about this mode of, shall we say, elimination, I would think it's probably not the best way to handle things. Not to get gross or anything because I am a VERY PROPER type (cough), I think it would be entirely too messy for my taste. In my case, I'd probably want to kill MYSELF halfway through the deed from being sick to my stomach. Disgusting...

Hopefully, this is the last of the head severing we'll hear about, for awhile at least...

Excuse Me Mame, Er...Sir...

"The gender trap: We're familiar with drug testing for athletes, but officials at the Beijing Olympics will be taking things one stage further and examining competitors whose sex is in doubt. And it is far from being a new problem, as Emine Saner discovers"

Great article by Emine Saner, from the Guardian in the UK.

I actually never knew this was so much of an issue that they had to actually "test" women thought to be men competitors. Although, looking back to my younger years as an avid Olympics watcher, I do recall some of the East German team members to be very "butch", shall we say? Who knew that they were being forced to ingest physically altering drugs that also made them somewhat mental, and for some, suicidal.

Reading the section on Adolf Hitler, it doesn't surprise me that he would have resorted to such trickery as substituting a male in a female competition in order to give the appearance of Aryan domination and supremacy. Compared to most of the horror he created and stirred up, the shenanigans perpetrated at the Olympics can be considered quite tame.

As far as the Polish sprinter goes, wouldn't it have been VERY obvious that her bits and pieces were flopping about as she ran like the wind? Even back then, I think they wore shorts that were, well...short. I assume some serious taping and shellacking had to be done before every race. Wouldn't someone have noticed during all those years?

Anyway, back to China. It seems that the more I hear about the Olympics this year, the more I get disturbed about the way they are being conducted. Most likely, the Olympics will probably NEVER be held in a communist country again. There seems to be way to much drama and bullshit associated with the act of fair play and camaraderie between nations. Great lengths seem to be taken to make the air of goodwill the games represent anything but...

Priorities Askew...

"Designer vaginas blacklisted"

Does this thong make my pussy look fat?

Ah, the Australians. Love 'em!

It always amazes me that people will do anything for vanity's sake. Honestly, all vags look the same to me. I would be more worried about the odor it emits than the fact that one beef curtain is lopsided or hangs lower than the other, but to each their own I suppose.

This is really no different than men trying to have their penises enlarged. While the fantasy is to have one that is so large it makes your partner squeal with delight, it not always is the best or most practical thing to possess. I speak from experience. It's my cross that I bear...LOL...A girl can dream, right?...

So, the funniest thing about this is the idiot who brought in a picture of a Brazilian model's hoo-hoo. Maybe I should bring in a picture of Oprah's checking account to my bank and say "Make mine look like that!" also. Funny how people have these unrealistic expectations when it comes to looks and sex. It's been said so many times before that we can make a 90 year old man bone up for up to 4 hours or make tits look like floatation devices but we can't cure the common cold. Seems like our priorities are lost somewhere between the make-up bag and the plastic surgeon's knife...

Now that I've gotten off my soapbox, I need to come up with a plan for that chemical peel and lipo I've always wanted...

Update...Damn, That's An Ugly Bird (Shots Fired)...

"Body ID'd as priest who flew on party balloons"

They found him...

Wow, I wrote about this one back in April! Poor thing. I wonder what happened?

Yoshi, Did You Bring The Air Pump And The WD-40?...

"73-year-old porn star bedazzles Japan's aged"

What does a 73 year old ding-dong look like? I shudder at the thought...

Well at least he is getting paid is all I can say about this one. I like 'em older myself but that's taking it a little further than I would like to venture!

Reminds me of that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha was dating the Jurassic looking old guy and was all into him until she saw his wrinkly saggy ass as he got out of bed naked, ROFL! Ah memories...

Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Do I Just Start Blowing You Here?...

"Women arrested in sex competition"

Finally a sport that I could feasibly get into!

So, my first question would be: How much was the first place prize worth? And my second question is: How much time would I get to "practice"?

You know these were stupid college girls all drunk on holiday getting loud and obnoxious in a bar. The bar owners probably saw an "in" when one of them most likely got on the bar and started to drop cloth and the idea was probably born at that time.

Ah, the memories of college life come flying back. The late night parties. The enormous amounts of booze and cigarettes. The vomitous climax after crawling back to the dorm. Good times, good times...

Think Of This The Next Time You Eat Octopus!...

"'Beast' Man Jailed for Possessing 31,000 Animal Porn Images"

This is a little unsettling...

Well, it's a little unsettling because I've basically seen images of everything but the tiger myself. Most of this shit comes out of Japan! They really like their animal and scat porn over there.

Ewww, the internet is a dirty little world I tell ya, LOL...

Daddy Dearest...

"Bin Laden's son in web terror rant"

The Crown Prince of Terror? Looks more like a reject straight out of that Breakin' movie from the 80's, headband and all!

I say they find this little shit and bomb him too. In a few years we'll be regretting that we didn't.

It's really sad that a whole group of people are so into their religious beliefs that they are ruled by them. I love God (or whatever higher being you prefer) but I'm not going to kill every single person out there that disagrees with what I believe. I think that the Bible is a great work of fiction, somewhat akin to Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes, that teaches great lessons in compassion, trust, hope and charity but you can not take it literally. I think there are some moments there that are absolutely true and I think some moments are exaggerated and then some are pure fiction. Being able to decipher which is which makes you, dare I say- sane and functional. But I digress...

This kid is a powder keg waiting for someone to light the fuse. I actually feel sorry for this terrorist offspring in that he was probably raised and brainwashed, since he was in diapers, to believe that people from the evil West are scum. I would say that it's probably too late to reeducate him at this point but it certainly is not to late to save the rest of the world from another 9/11 or tube bombing, as was perpetrated in England.

You know he is just itching to make a statement that will enamour him to the many Bin Laden minions, but one that will also tell the world that he has arrived. Something bigger and better than what his father has done...something to make dad proud of his son. Scary thought...

Shut Up And Watch Me Eat...

"G8 summit: Gordon Brown has eight-course dinner before food crisis talks"

Gordon, can you pass the A-1 steak sauce?

So you're probably wondering what they ate? :

"The dinner consisted of 18 dishes in eight courses including caviar, smoked salmon, Kyoto beef and a "G8 fantasy dessert"...The banquet was accompanied by five different wines from around the world including champagne, a French Bourgogne and sake. "

Side note:

"African leaders including the heads of Ethiopia, Tanzania and Senegal who had taken part in talks during the day were not invited to the function. "

This just goes to show what hypocrites politicians are and the sketchiness of these so called "summits". Kind of fucked up how they didn't invite the Africans, LOL. Then again they probably would have made them serve the food had they been invited...

WAH! That Dog Is Dirty! WAH!...

"Muslims outraged at police advert featuring cute puppy sitting in policeman's hat"

Complainers are the worst. It's like they intentionally seek out shit to cry about. I bet there have been a few instances where a dog has saved a Muslim's ass throughout history and the dog probably didn't even think twice about it either.

I am getting so sick of these dumbass religious groups butting their elitist noses into everything and anything. Just shut the fuck up and mind your own business. Like you have nothing better to do than to create drama about a cute little puppy.

I am actually kind of perplexed because you usually don't hear of this kind of crap happening outside of the US. I know that everyone has a right to their opinion and that is great; just don't shove it down everyone's throat. If you don't like dogs, then don't get one. If you don't like the poster, than don't look at the God damn thing. Simple as that.

Looking at that picture has got me thinking. I would like to pose my pugs in the same manner but with a Santa hat. I think it would make a cute Christmas card. Maybe I'll send them out to some Muslims, LOL...That was sick, ha ha ha...I just have to make sure that the stamps have baby pigs on them...

I Know You Are But What Am I?,,,

"Bolivian President Calls Peruvian Head of State 'Fat,' Incites War of Words"

Yo mama is fat!

Too funny! They look so happy in the picture. I can just imagine what these two say about each other in private. So high school...

I guess there is a lot worse things that the guy could have said. Such as "Your mama wears combat boots" or "Go fly a kite"...

I Think He Described The Room Quite Well Actually...

"British Student Writes Nothing but Expletive on Exam, Gets Credit for Spelling"

What, no punctuation? How rude!

I'm trying to think if my English teacher from high school, Mr. Horton, would have given me credit for writing "Fuck off" on the final essay exam. I think maybe not. Although he was my uncle's best friend and I had seen him "fucked up" on quite a few occasions.

Perhaps I could have used the drunken partying and puke incidents as some sort of blackmail thingy to get a good grade. Oh well, you live and you learn. I did end up with an A-...fucker...he couldn't at least bump it up to an A!!!!

No Sex With Kids...

"Romania Allows 11-Year-Old Alleged Rape Victim to Have Late Abortion"

Some people are seriously deranged. What motivates someone to rape a child?...

This is truly a sad situation. First of all, anyone that gets off on getting off with kids is a fucking gross pig. I don't see how anyone can find sex with a child erotic in ANY way. It's so taboo that even the thought of it makes me squirm.

So, this got me thinking, marrying off your children back in the "old days" was completely acceptable. You had children as young as 12 getting hitched and sent to live with their new found spouse by themselves. When did society start to turn on this one and decide that it was not okay to pimp out your child to the highest bidder? When did we all of a sudden get a conscience and say, "Hey, this is not acceptable."?

I would agree with the parents and the child, for that matter, in this case, in that , I think she would be terribly traumatized with 1) having to go through the birthing process at such a young age 2) the stigma of having had a child in her community and school and 3) having to look at that child everyday and know that he/she was a product of a dirty little secret that she once had to hold inside of herself, literally.

Then you have these anti-abortion zealots who are supposedly thinking of the unborn child but in all actuality, they are thinking of themselves and passing judgement and their own moral compass onto others. You get this with groups condemning homosexuality all the time as well.

I actually got into an argument in college with some anti-abortion protesters once in the Student Union building. They were showing pictures of abortions right there in the Union and they were very graphic and all I could think of was how perverted the whole staging of the protest was. They came off as bullying people into conforming with their religious beliefs and it was pretty scary. So I asked the guy who was handing out the fliers if he knew exactly why that particular child was aborted and he actually responded that he didn't care, it was just wrong to kill a baby. I was dumbfounded. I then asked if he was going to support that child when it came out and he said that wasn't his decision to make and that the parents of the child needed to take responsibility for their actions. So I asked him "What if she was raped?" and I can't really remember anything more of what was said because he started in on me about Jesus and religion and the "Bible says this", etc. It's funny how these religious groups always start in with "the Bible says" crap. I wonder what society would be like if we all lived the literal translations of The Good Book.

Come to think of it, I always wondered why they allowed that to take place in the Union actually...

She'll OD By Year's End...

"Winehouse Has Emphysema, Says Dad"

Crack is whack...

I can't imagine the amount of crack and heroin this trainwreck must be smoking ON TOP OF the cigarettes, so much that, at 24 you are going to need an oxygen machine to breathe. She has to be hitting that pipe all day, all week, all month.

I once knew this crackhead chick who was wired all the time. She eventually got fired from her job and started to let herself go. I always thought she must have smelt like a fucking garbage bin from Joe's Crab Shack down there after awhile. So nasty what this stuff and meth will do to people.

I don't understand the draw of heroin. I have never done it myself but they say that it's almost the same high as Oxycontin. I did take that once and it made me feel seriously sick and I thought , "Who the hell would deliberately want to feel like this all day?". I would have rather have eaten a pizza...

Anyway, I bet they are telling her that to scare her into quitting whatever substance she is on. There is a quote that I love and it's very fitting for this situation:

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."

So true...

Moms To Die For...

It seems that whenever you see child abuse cases in the news they are generally hardcore and these 2 are no exception:

Caged boy 'skinned, eaten by family'

Extreme Torture of L.A. Boy Prompts Outrage Toward State Agencies

It's really sad that some people out there have absolutely no compassion or feelings toward a life other than their own. I couldn't imagine doing any of this crap to my dogs let alone a child I gave birth to. What the F is wrong with people? All of these woman should be locked up and made to sit in their own shit and piss for days and see how they like it.

Just pondering on that one for a minute here. What if the price you paid for your crimes was truly "an eye for an eye"? Can you imagine? Would the crime rate drop in this country? Do you think it would deter criminals from doing what they do? I think maybe if it was televised, that may make an impact. Then again, we'd probably have people trying to do shit just to get on TV...