Does This Herpes Sore Make Me Look Fat?...

"Prostitution has not suffered drop-off despite economic meltdown"

Hmmm...Who would have known that donut punching with a professional was not hit by the economic crunch? Seems to me that I am slaving away in the wrong field according to this article.

The picture says it all. If you look at the knees of the depicted women, you will notice scuff marks and scars, a sure sign that they are, as stated, "still busy" during these hard...hard...hard economic times.

I like the one girl's bit of wiz-dumb imparted upon the reader:

"If men are horny, they're going to come in here." - Um...no shit. I would never have thought that.

"Sadie admits her business has suffered a bit in the fiscal crisis. Some clients are cutting back on their spending, and some aren't returning, she said." - Another reason for this could be that you aren't that good in bed...even with the discounted rate. Some pervs do have standards you know.

"With the economy the way it is, how is my son going to get a loan? And he's going to finish college." - I think she meant, "How is he going to finish college?" Here's a thought: Have him get a fucking job and get the mattress detached from your back.

My mom loves me but I can guarantee that she wouldn't have gone out and gave head for my chemistry 101 textbook and the required lab goggles. Sounds to me like she is using her son as an excuse or she is truly so stupid that she hasn't ever heard of federal student loans.

If You Feel Something Kicking, Just Aim It To The Left...

"Pregnant Prostitutes To Face Charges "

This is totally nasty.

I used to have a friend who was preggers and unbeknownst to me, I later discovered that she was "dating" men who had a penchant for distended bellies and breast milk.

Gross - I know. We went to high school together and I have since lost touch. Probably for the best actually, LOL...

I like how one of the women was 8 months pregnant. Can you imagine hiring her and in the middle of whatever you were paying for the water breaks! Very classy...

Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Do I Just Start Blowing You Here?...

"Women arrested in sex competition"

Finally a sport that I could feasibly get into!

So, my first question would be: How much was the first place prize worth? And my second question is: How much time would I get to "practice"?

You know these were stupid college girls all drunk on holiday getting loud and obnoxious in a bar. The bar owners probably saw an "in" when one of them most likely got on the bar and started to drop cloth and the idea was probably born at that time.

Ah, the memories of college life come flying back. The late night parties. The enormous amounts of booze and cigarettes. The vomitous climax after crawling back to the dorm. Good times, good times...