Time To Switch Outfits Me Thinks...

"Man wearing "I ♥ My Marriage" t-shirt busted for domestic battery"

Hmmm...What alarms me is the fact that he's a financial consultant. His stock picks are probably brutal as well.

So my first thought is this, I wonder if Chris Brown gave him that shirt? Secondly, any movie starring Kirk Cameron probably would drive you to beat someone or at the very least give you a case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

My Have Times Changed...

"California Girl, 8, Found Hanged From Bunk Bed "

The only thing I find disturbing about this article is the fact that the girl had a cell phone and a computer and a door that she was able to lock.

HELLO! Where is the parental guidance here? I know that she lived with her grandmother but that shouldn't cloud the fact that she was totally WAY TOO young to be in possession of these devices. Who the hell was she text messaging anyway? I assume her internet use was not monitored either. This is really sad.

When I was eight we were playing Star Wars in the back yard with sticks as light sabers and old pillow cases as capes. We were not thinking of suicide...

Driving Woes...

"Latest excuse for driving 80 mph in wrong lane? Texting"

Texting and driving? Can you say stupid idea?

Interesting combination of idiot actions here. It's bad enough to not pay any attention to the road because you are text messaging your girlfriend sweet nothings in her phone (allegedly, maybe he was breaking up with her? Maybe she was a he and he was his boyfriend? Who the hell knows...) then you add on the fact that you are drunk makes it even more ridiculous. Then you add driving down the wrong lane of traffic at 80 miles an hour to the recipe and you have the makin's for a big ol' mess on the road. Most likely your splattered head on the pavement.

I really do think that people are way too distracted on the roads these days. If it is not cell phones, it's your iPod. If it's not your iPod it's your DVD player. If it's not your DVD player it's your navigation device. If it's not that it's you picking your nose and so on...Whatever happened to the fucking radio and getting directions before you left the damn house? Is it too much to ask that you take the 2 minutes you need to look up the directions or make that VERY IMPORTANT phone call or watch that Miley Cyrus movie before you leave the fucking house?

And why do we need a DVD player above the dashboard of a vehicle. Isn't that just inviting the prospect of a severe flaming inferno of a head-on crash to happen? I suppose next we'll have to wear weird glasses or some sort of headgear to watch 3-D movies while we drive. One's that allow us to split our vision in half- one eye on the road and one eye on the yo-yo that goes up and down in the movie (a regular 3-D go to effect). Perhaps then, someone will invent a device that splits our attention as well?

The other day we were driving to go out to eat and I saw this women with a fucking Whopper in one hand, a cigarette in the other and her head cranked to the side holding the cell phone to her ear oh and yes - SHE WAS DRIVING AT THE SAME TIME! The only thought that came to mind was that this is why people get killed on the roads. This is why our insurance rates are astronomical. If she had to make a sudden stop what was she going to do? Throw down the burger, stomp out her cigarette and put the person on hold first? Amazing...

I must admit there is one thing that garners my attention every time I see it and that is someone so wrapped up in fishing that big ass booger out of their nose they lose all sense of reality and forget that they are on the road. I guess the only reason why I am watching is to see if they eat it. And sometimes I'm not disappointed...

Meet "Princess Chunk"...

"WHOLE LOTTA LOVE: Meet A 44-Pound Cat: 'Princess Chunk' Awaiting Owner At Camden Shelter"

Now that's a fat cat!!!

I love the name Princess Chunk. Sounds like a few queens that I know. Although, if they were misplaced, no one would be looking for them, LOL!

I'm pretty sure that if the owner doesn't come for the cat someone will adopt her...and put her on a diet I hope...

Update: I just ran across this post from the NY Post about the cat as well. There are better pictures of the cat here.

I'm Burnin' Up, Burnin' Up For Your Love...

"Pennsylvania Baby Sitter Admits to Burning Boys With Cigarette, Iron"

Damn, this is one hardcore bitch! Just the kind of sitter some of these kids nowadays need! LOL!

I'm wondering what in the world these kids did to deserve being burnt with a lighter, cigarettes and a freakin' iron! 20 times no less! Whatever it was, you know they aren't going to pull those shenanigans anymore...

Maybe they should let this bitch watch over the military guys who killed off their girlfriends/wives. I'm sure they wouldn't get far trying to do this one in.

I'd love to see a reality show like Big Brother with this chick in the house...And by the way, didn't the parents have a clue as to what kind of person this woman might have been?

Here we Go Again, AGAIN!...

"Arrest Made in Death of Pregnant North Carolina Soldier"

Are we going to have one of these every week now?

As I wrote previously, WHO THE HELL are they letting into the military? It's becoming a fucking joke. It used to be prestigious and held some air of dignity and respect when someone was active in the military, now it seems that the current crop of recruits are destroying that reputation with stupid ass antics.

I was saying that the punishment should be more harsh than it currently is but screw that. Why don't they just gas these guys right off the bat. Screw the trial, to hell with the lawyers, just take them directly to the gas chamber.

It seems like if your preggers in the military, you better watch your ass...

I wonder what the powers that be are doing to try and control and most importantly STOP this behaviour. In all actuality, what can be done?

If You Feel Something Kicking, Just Aim It To The Left...

"Pregnant Prostitutes To Face Charges "

This is totally nasty.

I used to have a friend who was preggers and unbeknownst to me, I later discovered that she was "dating" men who had a penchant for distended bellies and breast milk.

Gross - I know. We went to high school together and I have since lost touch. Probably for the best actually, LOL...

I like how one of the women was 8 months pregnant. Can you imagine hiring her and in the middle of whatever you were paying for the water breaks! Very classy...

Rectal Probes On The Horizon...

"Fliers Complain About X-Rated Security Screenings: TSA Agents Forced Woman To Remove Nipple Rings, Pulled Pants Off Disabled Man"

This is totally what it's come to.

I can actually see both sides of the coin on this one but there is a key statement in this whole article:

"But experts have said it's important to use common sense when balancing security and customer service."

I recently flew to Florida on vacation and can appreciate the heightened security measures as they are in place to protect everyone on that plane as well as the people on the ground. But there was also some security people who acted like they were the fucking Gestapo. Was very disturbing.

As for making someone take out their nipple rings, that's just plain stupid. I hope that women sues the shit out of the airline and that specific idiot who made her use pliers to take them off.

And the guard who pulled down the old man's pants...If that was me I would have bitch slapped the asshole. Jail or no jail, you don't do that shit right out in the open. Take the guy to a room and then have him pull his pants down.

Where is the common sense in all of this?

How Do You Say...Stupid...

"Wiccan Accidentally Stabs Herself in Foot With Sword During Good Luck Ritual"

Dumbass...

Looks like her luck finally ran out...

Un-Biased Reporting At It's Best...

McCain Campaign: New York Times Blocked Op-Ed Response to Obama

After reading the actual Op-Ed that the times refused to print I am alarmed as to why it would be rejected.

Time's op-ed editor David Shipley writes:

“It would be terrific to have an article from Senator McCain that mirrors Senator Obama’s piece. To that end, the article would have to articulate, in concrete terms, how Senator McCain defines victory in Iraq. It would also have to lay out a clear plan for achieving victory — with troops levels, timetables and measures for compelling the Iraqis to cooperate. And it would need to describe the Senator’s Afghanistan strategy, spelling out how it meshes with his Iraq plan,”.

Give me a fucking break! For one thing the reason we have elections is to make a choice between different points of view. Key word: DIFFERENT. Why would we want to read a rehash of what Osama, I mean, Obama had to say. He probably didn't even write that himself as he has a plethora of speech writers on speed dial I'm sure.

It clearly states that a decision about troop withdrawal depends on the climate and circumstances of the situation as McCain clearly states, "I have also said that any draw-downs must be based on a realistic assessment of conditions on the ground, not on an artificial timetable crafted for domestic political reasons. "

Seriously, I can go on about this but I digress...The fact that the Times is trying to censor and, what looks like to me, plant a firm root into mainstream America's decision on the next President, whomever that may be (duh, I feel like it's the coronation of the prom queen all of a sudden), makes me kind of ill.

If you give one person coverage, give the other equal time or equal access to avenues in order to get THEIR message out and not what your editor thinks they should say. I'd like to hear what the candidate thinks he/she should be saying.

Hell, if David Shipley thought we wanted to hear what he thinks should be said about the war then he should have ran for President. Otherwise, shut the hell up and do what you are paid to do- and that would be unbiased reporting you douchebag...

Interesting Disappearance...

"Where is Caylee Marie? 'We implore everyone to get the word out,' uncle pleads"

So, I've been strangely interested in this story about the compulsive liar mother in Florida (of course) who's baby is missing...

A little background:

The baby was "missing" for 5 weeks before she actually said anything about it. The grandparents were the ones who made the call to the police as they were getting the runaround from the mother as to where the child was.

She claims that she dropped off the baby at a "sitter's" house and then the woman disappeared with her child. The cops go to the house that she says she dropped the infant off at and discover that it had been vacant for 5 months prior and that no one actually lived there. The police soon caught up with the woman identified as the "sitter" and learned that she actually didn't even know who the mother (Casey Marie Anthony) or the baby (Caylee Marie) were.

The liar then told police she worked at Universal Studios and listed a few people who could vouch for her, as they were employees as well, and come to find out - she didn't even work there and neither did any of the people she listed!

So then it comes out that the mother actually borrowed a shovel from her own parent's neighbor about a month ago and the police have now excavated the grandparents yard looking for the remains of the child. Nothing was found. Cadaver dogs and everything were brought out.

She also claims that the father of Caylee is not alive, but now they are considering that that may be a lie as well and are looking into that avenue.

That brings us current and now the police are trying to talk to all her friends to see if she may have said or done something that may give them clues.

This is actually interesting because they have also ruled out drug activity for the most part and are focusing on other areas. The first thing I thought was that she probably was high and then something happened to the baby and she had to get rid of the evidence. They have ruled out drug use as she wasn't an addict or anything and from all reports, she really loved and cared for the baby. So I think that I may be partly right, in that, it was some type of neglect issue but not from drugs.

In any case, I think the kid is probably dead and it's just a matter of time finding out where she ditched the body. Florida has a lot of swamp land and a lot of alligators, as gross a thought as it is, I'm sure that it's probably a good guess to assume they have something to do with the little girls disappearance.

Here We Go Again...

"Missing Fort Bliss Soldier Found Alive, Sister Says "

Not another one...

Why is it all of a sudden all these military men are fucking offing their wives? Seems like this is becoming more commonplace as of late.

Don't they do psychological testing on their inductees or are they just taking any disturbed individual and putting a uniform on them?

I think the punishment needs to be more harsh for this kind of crap as they are basically police officers for the nation. Thank God this one turned out better than the rest. They are usual found in a pile of ashes in the guy's back yard...

More Political Fodder...

"Bill Clinton Ready to Campaign for Obama ‘Whenever’"

God, I love Bill Clinton. He totally rules...

I was watching this yesterday as I was on the elliptical trainer and you could totally see he wasn't really into the Obama thing. I don't blame him as I agree with what their (Hilly and Billy's) campaigning was all about from the get go. He's (Obama) too inexperienced and too arrogant. He's been in national politics for what, about 2 years? Give me a fucking break. That's like hiring a very recent college graduate to run your billion dollar company right off the bat. The only change I see coming from him in office is a total meltdown and I am very scared of what that is going to be like. I wouldn't mind if he ran like in 8 years but now, HELL NO.

After seeing most of these polls shifting towards McCain, my fears are subsiding a bit and I have to get on the ball with reregistering in the new place I just moved to so I can vote for McCain this November. I may be a Democrat but I'm not a sheep...

I actually agree with Clinton's remark:

"If all of us lived on live mics, then 100 percent of us in this room would be embarrassed from time to time..."

Can you imagine the shit that comes out of other people's mouths when they think they are not being heard? I can't believe some of the things I say, let alone what other's may be barking out at times.

We're Out of Milk, Just Use Gravy On Those Frosted Flakes...

"More Than One in Four American Adults Now Obese"

This really doesn't bode well for the future of America...

Why is it that whenever they show show a fat person in the media they are:
a) Always alone or shot in some way to seem like an outcast?
b) Always eating something and it's usually take-out or fast food of some kind?
c) The photo is taken at the most cruel angles in order to get the maximum fat roll content?

I thought these statements were interesting:

"Why is the South so heavy? The traditional Southern diet — high in fat and fried food — may be part of the answer..."

"The South also has a large concentration of rural residents and black women — two groups that tend to have higher obesity rates..."

"In today's America, poor people tend to be obese: The cheapest foods tend to be calorie-heavy, and stores offering healthier, and more expensive, food choices often are not found in poor neighborhoods..."

I can hear Al Sharpton's computer keyboard clicking away constructing his next public outcry of racism and demonization of the southern black community. Actually, I would lean towards agreeing with him. While the statistics are probably true, taken in context, I think they are a little biased.

In relation to the number of black people that are in the south, the rates of obesity are higher yes, but the overall number of fat black women compared to fat white women is most likely significantly lower. So, I ask, what's their excuse. They say that the blacks are fat because of basically "fried food and no money to buy healthier items", so what's the reason for fat white folk? If they have the stores with the healthy food and the money to buy it, why the hell are they busting at the seems also?

Seems to me that the reason that everyone is fat is because we stuff our faces with crap and are to lazy to work it off. That's why I gained some poundage. Not because I'm "poor" (who isn't really nowadays) or "ethnic", it's because I got lazy and decided that I wanted a pizza and some beer rather than that grilled chicken salad and iced tea. Simple as that.

So what do we need to do to overcome this? Get the fuck off the couch, put down the fork and get to running or some other activity that sucks ass but slims you down. I have actually started to go back to the gym and have now logged 9 miles on the elliptical trainer in the past 3 days. Not where I was when I started the pizza diet but definitely above my expectations. When I get back to 4 miles a day and lifting weights again, I will be happy with the effort.

And it does get easier as you go along, as cliched as that may sound. You just have to suffer for a bit to reap the reward... and suffer I am right now...

Daddy, Not Tonight I Have Tooth Ache From My Pacifier...

"World's Greatest Dad' Arrested As Predator"

How gross to find out your dad or husband was doing this behind your back...

LOL! Nothing like having your professionally taken picture plastered all over the place with that shirt on for a child sex sting. I'm sure his whole neighborhood is now checking email and phone records of their chillin's.

When are these assholes going to realize that YOU DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO, NEVER, NO WAY!!!!

Bare Naked Ladies Indeed!...

"Barenaked Ladies singer arrested"

It's been One Week since you snorted with me..

That's disappointing. I always saw him as a heroin addict and not a coke addict.

The title of their children's CD should be renamed "Cracktime" instead of "Snacktime"...

I Didn't Know Amy Wino Was In Town...

"Cops: Woman Battered Beau With Toilet Seat: Floridian, 18, attacked after finding boyfriend smoking crack in loo"

Ha ha ha! Now this is my kind of woman...

If you have an 8 month old child the last thing you need to be spending money on is crack dumb ass! He was probably supposed to go out and buy pampers and instead he came back with stones. The piece de resistance of the whole event was the domestic violence pamphlet that was left at the scene of the crime.

If I had the money, I would totally bail this chick out and pay for her lawyer, but I don't so it's a moot point...

Who Ordered The Microwaveable Rat In A Bag Special?...

"Wisconsin Woman Accused of Planting Dead Rat in Own Food"

What a nutcase...

Everyone knows that if your are going to plant a rodent in your food, you sure as hell better use a field mouse and not a white lab right you stupid idiot!

I think that her punishment should be to actually eat the rat, tail and all, exactly as she had planted it in her food. Maybe we could televise it also or simply make a new reality show about extortionist crime or stupid criminals in which the punishments are dealt out before a live studio audience. Probably be better than most of the dreck that's out there now...

He Gets Crabby At Dinner...Our 200th Post!

"Wife: Man who died didn't order crab dish: No criminal charges will be filed"

This one is a hard one to decide. I like Ruby Tuesday Restaurants and have only had good experiences there.

Here's my take on this one: One of 2 things could have happened here. The customer ordered the entree without reading what exactly was in the dish or the server wrote down the wrong entree and keyed it into the order system.

It couldn't be a kitchen error because the food was prepared according to what was printed on the ticket. So it's not like they made the wrong dish. It can't be an expediting error as the correct food, according to the ticket, was made and brought out to the table. So it had to be server error if this is going to work.

I have seen this many times when I was serving back in the day. The customer orders something and then when it is brought out they either don't like the look of it, have changed their minds or want something free and they will tell you that you brought the wrong food out. It's very annoying and happens more than you would think. Then again, I've also seen servers forget what the hell the customer ordered because they are preoccupied with something else and punch in the wrong item just to get the ticket going. So this is a tough one. But in this case I would think that the customer probably ordered the wrong thing.

They should be looking into a few things though, like how many complaints has this server had in the past for wrong orders? Is this a pattern they have? Was everyone else's order correct at the table? And if the guy was allergic to shellfish, why in the hell did he NOT smell the crab in the entree. Crab has a very distinctive odor and your average person could reasonably discern that there was something "fishy" with the food.

Bottom line is that the server, even though they did repeat the order to the customer, should have pointed out that there was shellfish in that particular dish during the ordering phase. Just as they should point out if peanut oil was used in the preparation of a dish. Common sense...

Side Note:

This is our 200th post! I didn't think I would make it this far!

Fuck The Exterminator, I Got's A Gun...

"Woman Shoots Herself While Trying to Kill Mice"

Mice

One word: Idiot