Are You Serious?...

So last night I am watching my new favorite show "Wipeout" and they break into programing for a special announcement: "Angelina Jolie checks into hospital to deliver twins".

ARE YOU SERIOUS? I like her and all but give me a GD break.

There are millions of people being tortured and starved around the world. People are being beaten senseless and forced to vote for a total tyrant in sham elections, gas prices have caused the global economy to shit the bed and we are more interested in Brangelina's babies popping out?

Are they going to broadcast her stubbing her toe next? Totally ridiculous...

A Good Idea Actually...

"Angry Kids Protest Gas Prices After Mom Cancels Cable TV"

It's either food or cable, what do you want?...

I'm curious to see what these 2 girls look like. I picture them as total couch potatoes.

Seriously, God forbid if we actually have to go outside to play and entertain ourselves rather than sit in front of the appropriately named "boob tube". I'm sure they would have done the same thing if Hannah Montana was cancelled. The next protest will be about mom having to buy Toasted O's at Walmart instead of name brand Cherrios...

I'm looking forward to the first round of celebrity gas endorsements. Like the first few would all be "B" list celebrities like: "Judith Light for Exxon Mobile" or "Corbin Bernsen uses only Shell". Then when they realize that people actually are falling for this gimmick they'll get someone like P-Dildo to appeal to the black market, Julia Roberts for the housewives out there and some action hero like the Rock to schlock to the male demo. Should be interesting...

So You Think You Can Dance...

I was watching this show last night and I had to ask myself, "When did Mary Murphy become a full fledged drag queen?". She's got the bouffant hair going like something out of a 90's Ru Paul video and this leopard print bustier with lace edging, hooker gloves from Frederick's of Hollywood and make-up by someone who's obviously blind or hates her. I do like her though, she just needs to get a different stylist...

Then there's that total be-och Mia Michaels. What an ass. You can tell she is still working through those issues of being the ugly girl in a room full of beauties. It seems like every girl that danced was committing some sort of crime by the reviews she gave last night. Aside from the dance critiquing she got a little too personal for my liking and it made me think she was a very bitter See You Next Tuesday.

They also have these stupid montages or "snippets", if you will, of the dancers right before they perform. I guess they are supposed to get us better acquainted with their personalities so we can make a better voting decision but they all come off as fucking idiots to me. Some of these people are so annoying and fake it's ridiculous. My favorites are all the total queens trying to act like they actually like poon. One guy was saying, "Too bad she already has a boyfriend" as he flung his feather boa around his neck. I was born at night but not last night...

Not Another One...

"Disney Star Selena Gomez Pledges to Abstain From Sex Until Marriage"

Her hole's on lock down...or so she says...

You know, I am getting sick and tired of these little Disney chicks coming out and pledging their virginity until they get married. I remember when that ho Britney said the same thing and it turned out she had already been porked by Justin Timberfake. It's all a gimmick to get popular with the Tween Set's parents. Why in the hell is the teen pregnancy rate going up when kids have so many supposedly "good influential" role models to look up to? The minute she sees a big old tube steak she'll start to rethink that promise she made to God.

When her sex tape/risque lesbo pictures a la' Hannah Montana/secretly recorded racist rant comes out they won't waste any time parading out the new golden child while simultaneously throwing this one under the bus. I give her 2 years before she is either preggo or in rehab...

The Moment of Truth...

So...You totally knew this show was going to go downhill fast. At first they had cornball contestants, like math geeks, spilling the beans on how they stole a rubber band from work, and now...We have whorey gold diggers with hooker wigs revealing how they've thought of getting pregnant to trap their boyfriend into marriage or how they would dump their husband to bone their ex. I love it! I'm surprised it took them this long to get that trashy.

American Idol...

Well American Idol is upon us once again and I have already decided that I like the cute cherubic David Archuleta and that I absolutely can not stand that dirty haired Jason Castro. I was noticing that when they were doing the filmed intro's before they actually sing their song, he had flies buzzing around his head. The only thing that I thought of was that the flies were smelling some serious funk. I kinda barfed a little in my mouth after seeing that.

On a disappointing note, the stripper has gotten the boot. True he wasn't that great a singer but he was fun to look at. Oh well...I hope he didn't throw out the g-strings. They could come in handy now that the gravy train is over.