Where's The Can Of Oust When You Need It?...

"Man Passes Gas, Charged with Battery on Officer"

These cops have the worst job I tell you. They deserve every penny they make. Well, at least the good ones do. The corrupt cops can go and fuck themselves.

One line in this news story makes the whole thing a classic:

"The investigating officer remarked in the criminal complaint that the odor was very strong."

Well, I would think so. The guy was totally drunk. I ask all of you this, "Have you ever smelt a beer keg fart?"

Case closed.

Gas Prices Hitting Everyone Hard...

"Coke Dealer's Gas Surcharge; Cops: Indiana man passed along rising fuel costs to drug customers"

Who knew everyone was feeling the crunch of the gas prices. I admire this kid's moxie though.

Actually, the surcharge seems a little "high" to me. $25.00 to deliver some snow? Where the hell was he driving to? Alaska? The good thing is that the price he was selling a quarter for was seriously a good bargain, from what I've been told of course... Must have been cut with rat poison or baby formula.

I wasn't aware that the Starbucks parking lot was such a hotbed of illegal activity. I mean I've seen creepy guys inside of the place looking at questionable pictures on their laptops but I didn't know that you could procure some pick me up right outside the door as well. Seems the suspect changed locations from Starbucks to Bass Pro some time thereafter. Interesting choice. I assume it's a bait shop or some outdoorsy type of store. Maybe he needed some of that catfish stink bait for the crack whores on the next stop...

Rectal Probes On The Horizon...

"Fliers Complain About X-Rated Security Screenings: TSA Agents Forced Woman To Remove Nipple Rings, Pulled Pants Off Disabled Man"

This is totally what it's come to.

I can actually see both sides of the coin on this one but there is a key statement in this whole article:

"But experts have said it's important to use common sense when balancing security and customer service."

I recently flew to Florida on vacation and can appreciate the heightened security measures as they are in place to protect everyone on that plane as well as the people on the ground. But there was also some security people who acted like they were the fucking Gestapo. Was very disturbing.

As for making someone take out their nipple rings, that's just plain stupid. I hope that women sues the shit out of the airline and that specific idiot who made her use pliers to take them off.

And the guard who pulled down the old man's pants...If that was me I would have bitch slapped the asshole. Jail or no jail, you don't do that shit right out in the open. Take the guy to a room and then have him pull his pants down.

Where is the common sense in all of this?

Redux: No Tears Shed Here...

"'TIPSY' DETECTIVE BACK ON THE JOB: 'PROUD' COMMISH IN FLIP ON 'OFF-DUTY SHOOT' SLAP"

As I wrote about previously, I think this cop was a hero for doing what he did.

I'm kind of surprised that they reversed their decision so quickly. Someone over there has a brain...Thankfully...

No Tears Shed Here...

"TRIGGER COP WAS 'LOADED': FAILS 'BELL' BOOZE TEST"

Why are we even questioning this?

As far as I'm concerned, the creep got was was coming to him.

First of all, there is no fucking reason you should be schlocking a Tech-9 around other than you are out looking for trouble.

Secondly, the guys a hero for taking out this douchebag. Had he not shot the guy, he most likely would have killed someone and then the cop would have been blamed for not taking action.

Thirdly, fuck these thugs, they get what is coming to them.

Perfect example why we don't need guns on the street...

WAH! That Dog Is Dirty! WAH!...

"Muslims outraged at police advert featuring cute puppy sitting in policeman's hat"

Complainers are the worst. It's like they intentionally seek out shit to cry about. I bet there have been a few instances where a dog has saved a Muslim's ass throughout history and the dog probably didn't even think twice about it either.

I am getting so sick of these dumbass religious groups butting their elitist noses into everything and anything. Just shut the fuck up and mind your own business. Like you have nothing better to do than to create drama about a cute little puppy.

I am actually kind of perplexed because you usually don't hear of this kind of crap happening outside of the US. I know that everyone has a right to their opinion and that is great; just don't shove it down everyone's throat. If you don't like dogs, then don't get one. If you don't like the poster, than don't look at the God damn thing. Simple as that.

Looking at that picture has got me thinking. I would like to pose my pugs in the same manner but with a Santa hat. I think it would make a cute Christmas card. Maybe I'll send them out to some Muslims, LOL...That was sick, ha ha ha...I just have to make sure that the stamps have baby pigs on them...

Ethel, Are You Using Again?...

"Tokyo Customs Agent Forgets $10,000 Worth of Marijuana in Random Passenger's Suitcase"

Weed

Seriously, why can't this type of shit ever happen to me? Can you imagine the serious munchie party you could have after finding that little metal case in your bag! The tragedies that befall some people...

Colorado...Need I Say More?...

"2 Colorado Men Exchange Taser Shots in Confrontation Over Parking Boot"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,356566,00.html

Stupid people from Colorado abound! So, I tend to believe the restaurant owner in this one because you know those rent-a-cops are total liars. What probably happened is that the boot was put on the van, the restaurant employee tried to remove it and the security guard went ballistic. So, does everyone there just happen to carry a fucking taser gun around? Where did the restaurant owner get it and why the hell did he have it on him to begin with? Is the take out business that perilous that you have to resort to guerrilla fighting tactics to deliver the fucking Dim Sum?...

A Penny For Your Thoughts and $10.00 For A Dime Bag...

"Ohio Man Serves Jail Time for Daughter's Failure to Get GED"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354990,00.html

I have to admit that I like how this judge operates. Now if we can only get him to throw parents in jail for letting their kids wear those God awful baggy pants that let dirty asses hang out over the belt line and I would totally vote for this guy to be President. By the way, isn't the math portion on that test really simple? Like counting change and shit like that? My guess is the girl is either knocked up at this point or has spewed forth a couple kids already, so they should put it in her terms. For instance: You have $10.00 and your babies need some Similac and Pampers. How many dime bags of weed do you need to sell in order to make up the difference to purchase both items and a bag of Cheetos for the baby (as this would be a staple of their nutritional menu most likely)? I bet she'd pass with flying colors!...

Mommy, This Milk Tastes Funny...

"N.J. Officer Allegedly Performed Sex Acts On Cows"

http://cbs3.com/topstories/officer.robert.melia.2.706410.html

ROFL! Nasty. This is just plain dirty. I'm wondering what the hell he did with said bovine? Have you seen a cow's ass? 2 words...Not pretty...Not only do we have to worry about our kids being around this guy but now our livestock, in essence, our food! Would you rather drink milk from a cow that was untouched by human glans, lol, or straight up molested milk?...

Post script: The picture is classic. He just looks cow fucker-ish...

INS!...Run!

"Nation's Largest Chicken Producer Raided for Immigration Identification Scam"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351486,00.html

I thought my chicken tasted a little fishy...(I know, lame joke)...

Something To Consider...

"Top Court Rejects Challenge to Kentucky's Use of Lethal Injections"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351456,00.html

When I read about these inmates contesting the death penalty as "cruel and unusual punishment"I always wonder what the hell they did to get onto death row to begin with. I wonder if they showed the same consideration to their victims as they now demand...

Dunkin Donuts Must Have Been Closed...

This is stupid:

http://wcbstv.com/topstories/Hot.Dog.Firing.2.680305.html

The nerve of some people.