They Are Getting Desperate For Viewers Me Thinks...

Who knew that figure skating was so cutting edge? Quadruple flips, death drops and now...mammary showmanship.

So I am wondering. With her new element revealed to the audience do the judges score her under the technical difficulty portion or under the artistic interpretation card? OR is it a combination of both? Also, does the size of the ariola play a part in the level of difficulty?

I have included a picture of the incident purely for historical reasons and not because I like boobs...Boob

What Are You Doing With That Thing?...

"Horrific High School Football Hazing Case Shakes New Mexico Town"

Oh for crying out loud, this is not that bad of an incident.

The headline makes it seem like the broomsticks were actually stuck up inside of their stinkholes instead of what was probably just poking at the rim with the broom handle. "Horrific" my ass! Sounds like a regular Saturday night at the club.

Now if the coach pulled out his boner and started smacking it on someone's head, THAT would be horrific...(I'm getting hot and bothered just thinking about that one actually, but I digress...)...They had their fucking shorts on for Chrisakes! Sounds like another overblown bullshit case of hazing.

Las Vegas, NM is a shit hole anyway. They need some sort of entertainment out there.

Now if it were possible to stick something up your ass while still having your clothes on, gay bars in America would truly be a site to behold. In fact I might venture out to the dance floor more often...

Overexposed...

If I hear one more God damn thing about Micheal fucking Phelps I swear I am going to commit suicide by jumping in front of the first commuter train that comes into the local station!

Can the media give this guy any MORE coverage? Seriously? I mean it's not like there are other athletes there in Beijing or anything. It's not like I haven't heard every little factoid on his life. I want more! Please oh please!!!

I had to laugh at how every aspect of this guy's life is scrutinized, dissected and spun in ways to make it appear that he was on some collision course with destiny and how he is this great embodiment of the athletic ideal in the pool and out. How every American should aspire to be like Phelps. We should all bow to the alter of Michael and sacrifice our first born in his honor. YET, everyone of these diatribes and homages fail to mention his drunk driving arrest after the last Olympics. Typical of the American media...

Opening Ceremony...

Say what you want about the Chinese and their politics but I am certain of one thing, they can put on a fucking awesome show!

That opening ceremony of the Olympics on Friday was the best one I had ever seen. What's even more amazing is the fact that most of the effects were done by hundreds of people working in unison and not machines, like the boxes that created the wave effects or the water droplets that rolled out from a central point. Totally incredible.

The costumes were intricate and attention to detail was not spared. The colors vivid and stunning. Even the hand movements of the dancers were synchronized beautifully. Every last detail thought out and executed perfectly.

It would have been so exciting and awesome to be a part of that audience that night.

Excuse Me Mame, Er...Sir...

"The gender trap: We're familiar with drug testing for athletes, but officials at the Beijing Olympics will be taking things one stage further and examining competitors whose sex is in doubt. And it is far from being a new problem, as Emine Saner discovers"

Great article by Emine Saner, from the Guardian in the UK.

I actually never knew this was so much of an issue that they had to actually "test" women thought to be men competitors. Although, looking back to my younger years as an avid Olympics watcher, I do recall some of the East German team members to be very "butch", shall we say? Who knew that they were being forced to ingest physically altering drugs that also made them somewhat mental, and for some, suicidal.

Reading the section on Adolf Hitler, it doesn't surprise me that he would have resorted to such trickery as substituting a male in a female competition in order to give the appearance of Aryan domination and supremacy. Compared to most of the horror he created and stirred up, the shenanigans perpetrated at the Olympics can be considered quite tame.

As far as the Polish sprinter goes, wouldn't it have been VERY obvious that her bits and pieces were flopping about as she ran like the wind? Even back then, I think they wore shorts that were, well...short. I assume some serious taping and shellacking had to be done before every race. Wouldn't someone have noticed during all those years?

Anyway, back to China. It seems that the more I hear about the Olympics this year, the more I get disturbed about the way they are being conducted. Most likely, the Olympics will probably NEVER be held in a communist country again. There seems to be way to much drama and bullshit associated with the act of fair play and camaraderie between nations. Great lengths seem to be taken to make the air of goodwill the games represent anything but...

Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Do I Just Start Blowing You Here?...

"Women arrested in sex competition"

Finally a sport that I could feasibly get into!

So, my first question would be: How much was the first place prize worth? And my second question is: How much time would I get to "practice"?

You know these were stupid college girls all drunk on holiday getting loud and obnoxious in a bar. The bar owners probably saw an "in" when one of them most likely got on the bar and started to drop cloth and the idea was probably born at that time.

Ah, the memories of college life come flying back. The late night parties. The enormous amounts of booze and cigarettes. The vomitous climax after crawling back to the dorm. Good times, good times...

A-Rod or A-Hole?...

"ALEX FIRES BACK IN BID FOR KIDS: C-ROD 'PREVENTED HIM FROM SEEING HIS DAUGHTERS"

Cheating husbands, my favorite.

"A-Rod's spokesman, Richard Rubenstein, said, "He is burning to see his children, and fully intends to play a role in their future."

Are you sure he's not burning because of the gono or syph he probably has from all the strippers he's been porking in Miami?

This guy is such a loser. No matter how much fame or money you have, it's never okay to kiss your wife and kids goodnight and then go fuck a few strippers downtown. Maybe he should have been with his kids, if he is so hurt that he can't see them, instead of cavorting around with ho's every chance he got.

Totally gross...you don't know where that pinga has been...