Sounds Like A Move In A Square Dance..."Swing Your Chicken 'Round And 'Round"

"Rabbi Alleges Threat Over Chicken Ritual"

I am still laughing my ass off as I type this post. The following article (from the http://www.washintgtonpost.com/ website) is seriously one of the best tidbits that I have read in a very long time. Not because of the writing, but of the imagery it produces:

"YOM KIPPUR

Rabbi Alleges Threat Over Chicken Ritual

New York City police are investigating a rabbi's complaint that threatening e-mails were sent in connection with the slaughter of chickens to atone for sins before Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement.

Rabbi Shea Hecht of the National Committee for Furtherance of Jewish Education says the e-mails were sent by supporters of a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals campaign opposing the ritual, known as kapparot. He says some people added threatening and anti-Semitic comments to an online PETA form letter.

The Brooklyn-based Jewish organization slaughters about 4,000 chickens.

A PETA spokesman says the ritual is abusive and unnecessary."

If you look at the definition of "kapparot" you will see that it's basically someone swinging a chicken around in the air and chanting. The poor thing is probably freaking out shitting all over the place. LOL! This combined with the imagery of some PETA zealot sitting at a computer typing death threats cracks me the fuck up. The ritual sounds kinda ridiculous to me but what is even more ridiculous is the PETA person getting all crazazy in the hazazy. I wonder if they eat the chicken after getting it all dizzied up? Someone will have to let me know about that one.

Tom Is Going To Be Pissed...

"Scientologists charged with fraud in France"

Is this a surprise to anyone with half a brain?

For starters, if your being recruited for a "church" outside of a train station, or any other station for that matter (bus, train, gas, TV, hot dog...) then the zealots that are hounding you are probably crazy and full of shit. If said zealots are trying to sell you something then add shady to that list. God, or any other deity, doesn't want your money - he/she wants your soul. It's that simple.

These Scientologists are a scary species no doubt. It seems that they prey on the weak minded and after they have conquered your mind they go for your wallet. Any industry that makes you pay in order to "move up through the ranks" is either a scam (remember Amway?) or a higher learning institution. The only other place I have been financially raped and sodomized is college and the hell if I'm going to let a space alien do that to me as well!

What exactly is this religion about anyway. As far as I understand, you have to pay a certain amount of money to reach different plateaus of enlightenment within the organization and then you have to aggressively recruit other members in conjunction with the money you are shelling out so they can "donate" as well. The more money these people bring in under you, the higher you go. Sounds like a fucking pyramid scheme to me.

I watched the videos Toad Cruise made to entice other people to join and he seemed to be somewhat, okay who am I kidding, A LOT deluded and really creepy weird. Anyone who is prone to sudden fits of maniacal laughter followed by a dead stare into your eyes is not well. I'm just saying...Anyway I digress...The mere act of viewing these videos turned me off to the program. Besides the test to get in was way too long, so I gave up around question 25...

Update...Damn, That's An Ugly Bird (Shots Fired)...

"Body ID'd as priest who flew on party balloons"

They found him...

Wow, I wrote about this one back in April! Poor thing. I wonder what happened?

How Do You Say...Stupid...

"Wiccan Accidentally Stabs Herself in Foot With Sword During Good Luck Ritual"

Dumbass...

Looks like her luck finally ran out...

Gotta Make That Donut Money Somehow...

"FLDS fashions for kids sold on enterprising Web site: Mothers say Texas raid forced them to market their clothing style"

Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph. A Clothing line for the kiddies.

Molesting dirty old men sold separately...

I wonder if the website has a rape bed for sale also, just like the ones in the church loft in Texas...

Aliens Yes, Everything Else No...

"Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens"

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D90KSE100&show_article=1

What they failed to mention in this article is that although it's okay to believe that aliens may exist, you still have to suspend all reason and common sense when pondering the evolution of man...

My Bush Is Burning For You...

"New Mexico Apocalyptic Church Leader Arrested on Sex Charges"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354317,00.html

Are people really that stupid to believe any dumbass with a beard and shawl out there is Jesus? Being from New Mexico, I can't say that I am surprised that this was going on. I must say that the photo of "Jesus" is fabulous though. The shawl delicately draped across his shoulders and resting oh so gently on his windswept hair. Eyes looking off into the distance gathering visions to pass on to the followers. Makes me want to repent for that 3rd cocktail last night.

So he refused to have sex with virgins who had asked for a meat packing. Hmmm, sounds like bull Schlitz to me. What dirty old man, I mean righteous father figure head of a cult would refuse the poor young souls out there their one wish to get banged before they die and by "Jesus" no less. That would actually be a great excuse for not doing your homework, "Sorry, I was kinda busy last night. Yeah I had sex with Jesus." And what exactly does "Jesus" scream out at the moment of truth? "Oh God I'm coming!"? So twisted...

I Always Toss My Children Off A Ledge...

"Baby Drop In India"

http://www.nypost.com/video/?vxSiteId=0db7b365-a288-4708-857b-8bdb545cbd0f&vxChannel=Fox%20News%20Local%20%2D%20Tampa&vxClipId=2090_0501vod1&vxBitrate=700

This looks so scary. It's funny how the baby bounces up off the sheet when dropped. I guess this is some sort of blessing of the child, but I wonder how religious they would feel if the damn baby bounced off the ground...

This Guy Is Totally Going To Get A Fatwa On Him...

"'Basic Instinct' Director Paul Verhoeven: Jesus Was Son of Mary and Roman Rapist"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,352277,00.html

Oh my...Can you imagine if this was true? The whole religious world would totally implode upon itself. Just actually thinking about it makes me feel guilty for doubting the story of immaculate conception, walking on water, turning water into wine, rising from the dead...I am interested in reading this one and seeing the reaction of society in general. Should be VERY interesting...

Have You Seen My Penis? I Seem To Have Misplaced It...

"Penis theft panic hits city.."

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN2319603620080423?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=22&sp=true

Okay, after reading the first paragraph of this one I seriously thought it was a joke, but to my surprise, these people are fucking for real. ROFL! This has got to be the most ridiculous article that I have read this year. You can't make this shit up...

Damn, That's An Ugly Bird (Shots Fired)...

"Rescuers Search for Missing Brazil Priest Carried Aloft by Party Balloons"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,352217,00.html

Maybe he floated up to Jesus?...

You Don't Say...

"Pope calls church sex abuse scandal a 'deep shame'"

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/16/pope.wed/index.html

No shit Sherlock. The positive side of this whole thing is at least they are finally addressing the situation instead of ignoring it as they used to. It seems the only way to get their attention these days is through their wallet...

And The Emmy Goes To...

"Inside the polygamist 'underage sex cult': Pictures show the grief of mothers who had their children taken away"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=559808&in_page_id=1811

This bitch in the first photo is totally going for the Emmy this year. What an actress! I saw her in 2 different interviews the past 2 days and she is so full of shit. When she got pressed about the child sex accusations, she totally tried to plead the fifth and basically took a "no comment" stance. She was with a few other women this morning on Good Morning America and was totally overacting the "grief" she felt. It was so transparent. I do believe that these women are fundamentally brainwashed and in need of psychiatric care as well as the children. BUT, how are you going to sit there and deny that child molestation is not happening when there are 12 and 13 year old girls that were pulled from the compound that are knocked up. HELLO! They totally knew what was going on because they saw it and they went through it themselves...

God Called, He Wants $50K More...

"Actor Jason Beghe: Scientology Is 'Brainwashing'"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351426,00.html

Interesting article. I always thought this thing was a money scam. I just can't believe that some people are that stupid to give $50K for a "course" on alien shit...In fact , I can't think of any "course" I would like to take for that amount of dough. I guess it would have to involve food, lots of food, maybe some sex and I guess a hot air balloon ride and whale watching...

Is This Guy For Real?...

"Ahmadinejad Calls September 11 Attacks a 'Suspicious Event"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,351428,00.html

What a total pinhead. Really, a million people in Iraq? IF that is true, how many of those were killed by militant religious zealots in the name of Allah. Perhaps by suicide bombings? Honestly, that whole area should be disintegrated. They can't even get along amongst themselves let alone any other part of the world...

Mom, Can I Copy Your Homework?...

"Polygamist ranch raid climaxed with nonviolent protest at temple"

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/10/polygamist.ranch/index.html

The only things these disgusting pigs were praying for is to get light sentences when they are convicted of child molestation. It totally turns my stomach that they had sex rooms and communal sex beds for men to bone little girls in. News reports say that a lot of the girls taken from the compound were already pregnant including one 16 year old that already had 4 kids! I saw pictures of the guys suspected of the rapes and molestations and they were just straight up gross looking. A Couple of them actually looked a lot like Senator Larry Craig. Nasty...

Is It My Mom Or My Sister?...

"Abuse Probed at Polygamist Compound"

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8VTPM000&show_article=1

I can just see these skanky gross old trolls preying on the young girls in this place. Makes me sick actually. 401 children! WTF? You know something sketchy was totally going on in this place...

Who Needs Linda Blair When Aunt Bessy Will Do...

"Priest 'made £3m from fake exorcisms'"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/03/wexorcist103.xml

The Catholic Church lying to us? Say it isn't so. What can I say, there are some shady and sketchy ass priests out there. I must admit though, he does have a flare for theatrical productions...

Obama's Pastor...

Just who I want giving spiritual advise to someone who may be president. Ridiculous! The more that is known about this guy the worse I feel for our future. So he claims that HIV was invented to bring down people of color (as I stated before, the race card gets played). The first actual case was a white women in Europe in the 70's. The disease was mostly concentrated in the gay community in the late 70's and early 80's and only in the 90's did it start to erode the minority communities which had the highest rates of infection at that point.

http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/03/14/obamas-spiritual-adviser-questioned-us-role-in-spread-of-hiv-sept-11-attacks/

The more that is known about this guy the worse I feel for our future.