So...I'm dragging my ass outside with the pugs this morning because they need to shit and pee and I'd rather they do that outside than in and I hear what sounds like a cross between some good sex and a whiny celebutard coming from one of the condos near the elevator. The overly vocal female engaging in said sausage hiding technique sounded like she was liking it but was moaning and "screaming" in this whiny voice. It reminded me of a sorority girl trying to decide which Louis Vatton strap to buy for her purse. It was painful. Not too mention, ANY of the single guys on my floor are seriously hot so I was a bit jealous. That elevator certainly did take it's sweet time getting to my floor...
Anyway, we finally make it to the pugs favorite dumping area and I see my neighbor standing outside smoking a cigarette all stealth-like. The same person who was lecturing me on the hazards of smoking a few months ago. Well, kettle, I was curious as to why he was smoking and the look on his face was priceless! Busted. By the way, He said he was stressed...
So...We get back up to our floor and the hallway is dead silent. Mission accomplished in whatever bedroom that was previously alive with nookie. Dogs get fed and watered and I leave for work. As I get outside, I see something on my vehicle and it's a piece of string (resembling a shoe string) with the words "danger" embroidered throughout. Weird. Then, of course, my superstitious mind starts to wonder if it's a sign and if I will die on the way to work. So far I'm still alive...
Almost too much excitement on a Tuesday morning...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment