I'll Have The Fish Balls, Hold the Mayo Please...

"Poisonous Fish Testicles Send 7 Japanese Diners to Hospital"

People eat fish balls?

It intrigues me to think that someone actually sat there and thought out the removal and preparation of blowfish testicles. And with the added bonus of having people pay for it...I'm pretty sure this guy was a sadist.

I actually don't feel sorry for these donuts that got sick. As my great granny used to say "If you put rotten balls in your mouth, you're gonna get sick." Actually, she would never say that but it sounds like good advice for more than one situation...

Tragic, But There Is A Bright Side...

"Model Loses Hands, Feet to Severe Infection"

Model pics

This really sucks. Thank God her talent was playing the piano with her tits. She can still compete. She's just got to find a way to tape the high heels to her ankles..

They Are Getting Desperate For Viewers Me Thinks...

Who knew that figure skating was so cutting edge? Quadruple flips, death drops and now...mammary showmanship.

So I am wondering. With her new element revealed to the audience do the judges score her under the technical difficulty portion or under the artistic interpretation card? OR is it a combination of both? Also, does the size of the ariola play a part in the level of difficulty?

I have included a picture of the incident purely for historical reasons and not because I like boobs...Boob

F*ck You Very Much!...

I recently bought a friend of mine a birthday present. Now, let me preface this with the fact that AT THE TIME of purchase, said friend was not acting like a complete douchebag. Okay, now that we got that tidbit on the table the rest of the story goes as follows....

So...I go out of my way to buy a friend a nice little gift for their birthday. It's actually something they already own, but what I bought was an upgrade to their existing item. Anyway, at the time I bought it the friend was on good terms with me and my other personalities. So I felt good about buying the gift. And of course I bought the wrapping paper and everything to make it nice and pretty and a card to go along with it. The friends' birthday is not for a another week so, of course, any Sherlock out there can deduce that I still have the gift in my possession.

Since the purchase of the gift and all that that entailed (the driving to the store, buying all the shit to make it look pretty and the actual time it took to construct said pretty packaging of gift), my friend has pushed my limits on what I find to be good taste and common courtesy. How, you may ask? To make a long story short, the fucker said I was fat not once, not twice but THREE GOD DAMN times! Actually they called me a "pig" once, a "cow" another time as well as "fat ass". Mind you, I am not fat, I am 6 feet tall and weigh @ 225lbs. I'm not Kate Moss but I could be her younger sister Kate Mess. Anyway, I digress...

Back to the present in question...Since my friend has so eloquently pointed out my fat to muscle ratio, I now feel stupid for buying the gift for someone who is rude and quite frankly, crass. So my question is this: Should I feel guilty about taking the gift back? Or should I just give it to them like I first intended to?

Ahh Memories...

So recently, as I was perusing the annuls of some my friends Facebook accounts I see a picture of a girl that I used to know when I was in high school. Mind you I didn't just know her, I HATED her. Now hate is a pretty strong word you might be saying and I would agree, and I don't tend to use the word lightly. This being said, you can understand that my gut reaction to seeing her picture was one of utter vomit inducing chagrin. Although the name has changed, her beady little eyes are the same...

A little background to the story. I'm pretty sure she grew up poor. Her sister was of dubious infamy and she was not attractive. She had a lot of strikes against her but I got along with her at first. Even defended her when people made a snide comment about her. She was basically a wall flower and generally likable.

Then...one day she wins a student council election and the next thing you know she thinks she's the homecoming queen. She starts acting different towards people and becomes a totally changed person. Starts dressing better, actually starts wearing decent make-up. I think she is doing well for herself until her head gets bigger than it should have.

But I digress... that's not why I hate her. I guess her new status entitles her be free to say whatever she wants, or so she feels so, and then...calls me faggot because I didn't care for something she made in class as a project. I wasn't rude about it I just wasn't fawning over it. She got a laugh and then felt it was "okay" to continue to call me that whenever she wanted. The fact that she used to call me a "faggot" is why I didn't like this asshole. The fact that she used to do it in front of people is why I hated her. The fact that she would laugh afterward in her funny little Spanish accent is why I HATED her.

So my question is this: Is it still okay to despise someone after all this time? Is this something that we naturally feel or is it something that I have conjured up to hold onto past feelings? I actually haven't thought about her at all until I saw that picture. Interesting thought...

Ponder This Please...

Hmmm...Can someone please explain why this is the headline on FoxNews.com:

URGENT: Boy George Sentenced to 15 Months in Jail

You know, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and the breaking news story is that Boy George is going to have to reenact every rape scene from the HBO series "OZ" for the next 15 months. Really?

If I was him I'd sue my lawyer for not bringing up the fact that this was a total job hazard the escort should have considered when first joining the profession. And with the past exploits of Boy George widely publicized, it was very apparent that chains, handcuffs and flogging would be part of the "hiring requirements", if you will.

I suppose the next thing that will happen is a plane crash where nobody dies...

300th Post!!!

Who knew I would have made it this far...

So...I'm watching American Idol last night and I can't help but feel sorry for that idiot Ryan Seacrest. But before I get to that let me just say this, I swore up and down that I wasn't going to watch this damn show this season. Every year we get the same dreck: bad singers, attention seekers and an oft blitzed Paula Abdul. So in their attempt to "revamp" the show they've added a 4th judge. Unfortunately, I don't know who the hell she is other than the fact that she wrote some Celine Dion song and some of the tracks on the Paris Hilton shit storm unleashed on society in 2005. So far, it's looking like a train wreck which makes me want to watch it all the more.

Back to Ryan, so I sit there eating my stuffed shells watching the endless parade of hopefuls, some in bikini's, some in tap shoes and some with talent all the while, they keep hyping up the blind kid who is going to audition at the end. I'm thinking this guy better be fucking Stevie Wonder the way they are tauting him, anyway, he finally gets his big chance.

I hold me breath waiting for him to sing. He picks a Billy Joel song (ehhh, I was hoping for Mariah or something of that nature but I digress...) and starts to sing. Of course, they over hyped him and he wasn't spectacular or anything but he was good and they give him the golden ticket and he walks out to his cheering family. Here comes the sad part, as Ryan is interviewing him, Ryan tries to give the guy a high five completely oblivious to the fact that the guy is BLIND, HELLO! So he's standing there like an idiot with his hand in the air. Ugh, I choke holding back the laughter and wonder why they haven't replaced him yet.

To make a long story short, I'll be watching the second part tonight as well...

Holy Crap!!!

Has it been that long since I posted something here!

So what have I been up to? Working overtime like hell and getting acquainted with my new Ipod and a program which allows me to burn my movies and download them to the damn thing. Ahhhh, now at last, something to look forward to at work...

I also got sick with the flu, my dog had surgery and my beloved guinea pig was put down after reaching a ripe old age of 7 years! That's fucking old for a guinea pig, actually. Poor thing, she was actually really cool and now she's in an urn on my bookcase...

What have you been up to?