Excuse Me Mame, Er...Sir...

"The gender trap: We're familiar with drug testing for athletes, but officials at the Beijing Olympics will be taking things one stage further and examining competitors whose sex is in doubt. And it is far from being a new problem, as Emine Saner discovers"

Great article by Emine Saner, from the Guardian in the UK.

I actually never knew this was so much of an issue that they had to actually "test" women thought to be men competitors. Although, looking back to my younger years as an avid Olympics watcher, I do recall some of the East German team members to be very "butch", shall we say? Who knew that they were being forced to ingest physically altering drugs that also made them somewhat mental, and for some, suicidal.

Reading the section on Adolf Hitler, it doesn't surprise me that he would have resorted to such trickery as substituting a male in a female competition in order to give the appearance of Aryan domination and supremacy. Compared to most of the horror he created and stirred up, the shenanigans perpetrated at the Olympics can be considered quite tame.

As far as the Polish sprinter goes, wouldn't it have been VERY obvious that her bits and pieces were flopping about as she ran like the wind? Even back then, I think they wore shorts that were, well...short. I assume some serious taping and shellacking had to be done before every race. Wouldn't someone have noticed during all those years?

Anyway, back to China. It seems that the more I hear about the Olympics this year, the more I get disturbed about the way they are being conducted. Most likely, the Olympics will probably NEVER be held in a communist country again. There seems to be way to much drama and bullshit associated with the act of fair play and camaraderie between nations. Great lengths seem to be taken to make the air of goodwill the games represent anything but...

Priorities Askew...

"Designer vaginas blacklisted"

Does this thong make my pussy look fat?

Ah, the Australians. Love 'em!

It always amazes me that people will do anything for vanity's sake. Honestly, all vags look the same to me. I would be more worried about the odor it emits than the fact that one beef curtain is lopsided or hangs lower than the other, but to each their own I suppose.

This is really no different than men trying to have their penises enlarged. While the fantasy is to have one that is so large it makes your partner squeal with delight, it not always is the best or most practical thing to possess. I speak from experience. It's my cross that I bear...LOL...A girl can dream, right?...

So, the funniest thing about this is the idiot who brought in a picture of a Brazilian model's hoo-hoo. Maybe I should bring in a picture of Oprah's checking account to my bank and say "Make mine look like that!" also. Funny how people have these unrealistic expectations when it comes to looks and sex. It's been said so many times before that we can make a 90 year old man bone up for up to 4 hours or make tits look like floatation devices but we can't cure the common cold. Seems like our priorities are lost somewhere between the make-up bag and the plastic surgeon's knife...

Now that I've gotten off my soapbox, I need to come up with a plan for that chemical peel and lipo I've always wanted...

You Have What?...

So I was looking for things to post about yesterday and came across a phobia site that was somewhat entertaining.

Looking through the list of phobias, I saw some that were totally ridiculous. Such as:

Cacophobia: Fear of ugliness. Well, if you had this phobia you totally wouldn't last here in my building because there are some ugly mothers wandering these halls...

Clinophobia: Fear of going to bed. Sounds like something made up for the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. This must be a hoax as it sounds completely ridiculous...

Liticaphobia: Fear of lawsuits. The actual paperwork or the idea of a lawsuit? Or the fact that money will be flying out of your account into a lawyers?...

Logophobia: Fear of words. 5 3785 5632 905 7538 257 75 32859?...

Plutophobia: Fear of wealth. Obviously something a Jewish person has never been afflicted with (I kid, I kid)...

Rhytiphobia: Fear of getting wrinkles. It's called vanity, hello. This affliction leads to the deadly Botoxaphobia, the fear of your dermatologist going on vacation around your next scheduled injection...

Sounds like people are trying to come up with diseases to account for being just plain crazy...

Meet "Princess Chunk"...

"WHOLE LOTTA LOVE: Meet A 44-Pound Cat: 'Princess Chunk' Awaiting Owner At Camden Shelter"

Now that's a fat cat!!!

I love the name Princess Chunk. Sounds like a few queens that I know. Although, if they were misplaced, no one would be looking for them, LOL!

I'm pretty sure that if the owner doesn't come for the cat someone will adopt her...and put her on a diet I hope...

Update: I just ran across this post from the NY Post about the cat as well. There are better pictures of the cat here.

Update...Damn, That's An Ugly Bird (Shots Fired)...

"Body ID'd as priest who flew on party balloons"

They found him...

Wow, I wrote about this one back in April! Poor thing. I wonder what happened?

I'm Burnin' Up, Burnin' Up For Your Love...

"Pennsylvania Baby Sitter Admits to Burning Boys With Cigarette, Iron"

Damn, this is one hardcore bitch! Just the kind of sitter some of these kids nowadays need! LOL!

I'm wondering what in the world these kids did to deserve being burnt with a lighter, cigarettes and a freakin' iron! 20 times no less! Whatever it was, you know they aren't going to pull those shenanigans anymore...

Maybe they should let this bitch watch over the military guys who killed off their girlfriends/wives. I'm sure they wouldn't get far trying to do this one in.

I'd love to see a reality show like Big Brother with this chick in the house...And by the way, didn't the parents have a clue as to what kind of person this woman might have been?

Here we Go Again, AGAIN!...

"Arrest Made in Death of Pregnant North Carolina Soldier"

Are we going to have one of these every week now?

As I wrote previously, WHO THE HELL are they letting into the military? It's becoming a fucking joke. It used to be prestigious and held some air of dignity and respect when someone was active in the military, now it seems that the current crop of recruits are destroying that reputation with stupid ass antics.

I was saying that the punishment should be more harsh than it currently is but screw that. Why don't they just gas these guys right off the bat. Screw the trial, to hell with the lawyers, just take them directly to the gas chamber.

It seems like if your preggers in the military, you better watch your ass...

I wonder what the powers that be are doing to try and control and most importantly STOP this behaviour. In all actuality, what can be done?

If You Feel Something Kicking, Just Aim It To The Left...

"Pregnant Prostitutes To Face Charges "

This is totally nasty.

I used to have a friend who was preggers and unbeknownst to me, I later discovered that she was "dating" men who had a penchant for distended bellies and breast milk.

Gross - I know. We went to high school together and I have since lost touch. Probably for the best actually, LOL...

I like how one of the women was 8 months pregnant. Can you imagine hiring her and in the middle of whatever you were paying for the water breaks! Very classy...

Ah, The Good Old Days...

"Top 25 Biggest Product Flops of All Time"

This was actually a fun article to look through on WalletPop.

Ah, the good old days when they didn't give a shit what they marketed, as long as it made money. I must admit I did recognize some of these products such as "New Coke", "Crystal Pepsi" , The Edsel and DeLorean automobiles but some of this crap was just plain retarded...

For instance, the pet water that came in Crispy Beef or Tangy Fish flavors. I don't know about you, but I don't think I would want to have fish stink dropped all over the floor after my pugs bury their heads into the water bowl. Since they have that "smashed in face" look, they have to practically dip their heads into the water bowl like they are bobbing for apples when they drink. This of course allows them to drip water all over the place afterward. I guess it would also leave their face smelling fishy as well. Gross. Bad idea.

Kellogg's Breakfast mates...I remember seeing this commercial on TV a few times and I always thought that it was fucking gross. As the article indicates, the thought of warm milk was too much for me to handle. Especially milk that was already in the bowl with the cereal. Was it mushy? I had no idea. Anything that was in a liquid and stayed crunchy was not appealing and I cringed at the thought of what it would do to my stomach. Or my asshole for that matter as I would eventually have to evacuate it. Oh Lord, TMI...

Earring Magic Ken. He does look WAY gay but I think it would actually sell these days. It looks a lot like . Besides any self respecting fashionista needs a queen to tell her what not and what to wear...

Touch of Yogurt Shampoo. Sounds totally nasty. It even looks nasty. It seems like they will try anything to see if it sells. Remember Body on Tap Shampoo (thanks to Twitchery on Flickr)? That shampoo with the beer in it? Hey, that actually was good stuff. I remember my mom buying that back in the 70's...

McDonald's Arch Deluxe. I actually liked that sandwich. I always wondered where that went. And what ever happened to the McRib? Hmmm...

So, I wonder what products that are out there today are going to show up on a list like this in about 10-20 years?

The Dark Knight...A Lackluster Review...

So, last night I finally went to see what all the hype was about and purchased tickets for The Dark Knight.

I was actually excited and had to get tickets for a later showing as all the rest had been sold out. So I get the tickets in my hot little hand and go to T.G.I.Friday's before the show and have a few beers and this Jack Daniels hamburger that actually turned out to be very delish.

After eating, we head out to Wal-Mart and buy our candy there as it's $.88 for a huge box of Juijyfruits, M&M's and Milk Duds as opposed to $5.00 fucking dollars each at the theater for half the amount. We arrive about 20 minutes early for the show and already there is a huge line to get into our particular show. One minute before scheduled showtime, they finally let us in. We get a good seat.

One thing I did notice was that the previews for the coming attractions all sucked except this one with Ben Stiller and Robert Downey, Jr. which kinda looked funny. Anyway, I digress...So the movie starts and it immediately gets going with the action. I wasn't fully aware of the length of the movie but it seemed to keep my attention for the most part.

All in all, I didn't see what all the hype was about. It was good but not as great as everyone seems to be touting. Heath Ledger wasn't that good and I couldn't see why he said the character made him crazy because it was a more comical one than scary. Oscar worthy? Ehhhh, I've seen better. One thing that started to get on my nerves was the way Batman was talking. He sounded like he was trying to push out a jammed turd most of the time. At one point I didn't even understand what the hell he had said.

Other than that it was fine...

Yoshi, Did You Bring The Air Pump And The WD-40?...

"73-year-old porn star bedazzles Japan's aged"

What does a 73 year old ding-dong look like? I shudder at the thought...

Well at least he is getting paid is all I can say about this one. I like 'em older myself but that's taking it a little further than I would like to venture!

Reminds me of that episode of Sex and the City where Samantha was dating the Jurassic looking old guy and was all into him until she saw his wrinkly saggy ass as he got out of bed naked, ROFL! Ah memories...

Sick Bastard...

"EX-CON GETS LIFE FOR COLUMBIA STUDENT TORTURE"

These kinds of monsters are real and they are out there people...

Not much shocks me but this came pretty close. The things he did to this poor girl are so gruesome, I would be able to write a few horror novels from that material.

I hope he gets his comeuppance in Riker's. I'm sure there are a few people ready to greet him there...

Interesting Disappearance... Part 2

"Missing Florida Girl's Grandmother Panicked Over 'Dead Body' Smell in 911 Call"

Dead body smell...Hmmm, I wonder what that could have been from?

As I wrote about this story previously, it really is beginning to look like the mother was responsible for the disappearance of little Caylee Marie Anthony.

To bring us current again from the last update:

So when we last left this saga, the police were interviewing all the acquaintances of the mother Casey. One person had said that they had seen bruises and a mark under the child's eye when they last saw her without actually knowing that the police had a photo of the toddler depicting this same thing as well. Nothing has come of that.

In the meantime, the police completed a complete search of the car that Casey Anthony was driving when she was initially found, sans daughter Caylee, and "...they detected the scent of human decomposition in the trunk of a car used by the child's mother...". They also found strands of hair similar to those of the missing toddler and some dirt in the trunk, which in my mind isn't that out of the ordinary as they could have been on bags or clothing that the child owned or the relatives owned and may have fallen off while going on a trip or through daily errands.

The grandmother's response to this was purely comical and down right disturbing, "Do me a favor," the grandmother, Cindy Anthony, said Wednesday. "Put a little piece of pizza or any piece of garbage in your car today and leave it shut up for 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 days in this heat and then come back to me in 19 days and tell me what it smells like." With that, it's starting to sound like the parents of Casey Anthony are starting to either a) make excuses for their liar daughter or b) cover up something they know about.

Then all of a sudden a "tip" comes in from a women in Orlando, FL who claims to have seen the child boarding a plane with an "older women" in that area. She claims to have spoken with the "abducted" and given the way the child pronounced her name, it was deemed by the family as a "credible" tip. Again, nothing has come of this. The police are saying they have substantial circumstantial evidence relating this to a homicide and the mother has officially become a "person of interest". In other words, they suspect she offed the kid but can't prove it just yet.

Now the 911 tapes have been released and there are 2 from the grandmother, which thus began the saga of missing toddler Caylee Marie Anthony.

The first call from the grandmother merely asks that police be dispatched to arrest her daughter Casey for car theft and also for stealing some money. Apparently, she had been missing a month and the car had been towed and recovered. The grandmother also expressed concern that her granddaughter was nowhere in sight.

She then called back about an hour later crying, apparently after being informed that the child has also been missing for that same period of time, a month. She goes on to say to the 911 operator, "There's something wrong... I found my daughter's car today, and it smells like there's been a dead body in the damn car." The 911 operator goes on to speak with Casey herself and that's where the lie regarding the babysitter seems to get started as she goes on to say that the sitter stole the child 31 days prior.

There was also a tip that fresh concrete was being poured in the yard around July 4th at the residence of the grandparents but that has also seemed to be either unsubstantiated or completely bogus. The reward has also been raised to $250K for the safe return of the child thanks to a wealthy local business man.

So what does this all mean? Sounds like the mother knows exactly what happened to the kid and if hoping the body doesn't get found. She seems to be trying to focus attention away from the area. My bet is the kid is buried in somewhere near the child's grandparents house. Or as I stated before, in a swamp somewhere...

No News Of Interest Today...

So, I'm reading my normal online rags and it seems like it's the same shit from yesterday. Maybe there will be something of interest later in the day...

Rectal Probes On The Horizon...

"Fliers Complain About X-Rated Security Screenings: TSA Agents Forced Woman To Remove Nipple Rings, Pulled Pants Off Disabled Man"

This is totally what it's come to.

I can actually see both sides of the coin on this one but there is a key statement in this whole article:

"But experts have said it's important to use common sense when balancing security and customer service."

I recently flew to Florida on vacation and can appreciate the heightened security measures as they are in place to protect everyone on that plane as well as the people on the ground. But there was also some security people who acted like they were the fucking Gestapo. Was very disturbing.

As for making someone take out their nipple rings, that's just plain stupid. I hope that women sues the shit out of the airline and that specific idiot who made her use pliers to take them off.

And the guard who pulled down the old man's pants...If that was me I would have bitch slapped the asshole. Jail or no jail, you don't do that shit right out in the open. Take the guy to a room and then have him pull his pants down.

Where is the common sense in all of this?

Memories...

"Teen Sues Teacher for Calling Her Ugly"

Ah, the joys of high school...

I would love to see a picture of this kid. Perhaps she is ugly and a singing telegram might not be the best occupation for her. And she may also be a brat or trouble maker as the teacher so eloquently put it.

Then again the teacher might be a total asshole. You never know. I'd love to see what really happened and what led up to the incident...

How Do You Say...Stupid...

"Wiccan Accidentally Stabs Herself in Foot With Sword During Good Luck Ritual"

Dumbass...

Looks like her luck finally ran out...

Just Plain Gross...

"Largest Animal Shelter in U.S. Will House 2 Dogs Trained to Have Sex With Women"

These poor animals...

This is just heartbreaking and seriously gross. What the fuck is wrong with people out there? It seems like everyday that goes by, the crazier people get. WHO THE HELL would train their dogs to have sex with them? Apparently these people did, but I'm wondering if they are actually right in the head. Dirty...

I feel sorry for the kid that originally found the recorded tapes showing HIS OWN MOTHER fucking the dogs. I'll tell you, if that was me who saw that kind of stuff involving my own mother I would seriously question my own origin. Every thing you knew about your mom would come into question because if she is capable of this, anything would be possible and, quite obviously, not out of the question...

I'm still kind of sick reading about this stuff.

Gee Ricky, I'm Sorry Your Mom Blew Up (Lane Myers - Better Off Dead)...

"Man blows up apartment spraying for bugs"

This truly is tragic...and ridiculously funny!

LOL! Hilarious. If this was me, I would have shit my pants when the explosion happened. He must have sprayed into the pilot light of the stove. I think an explosion can happen when the fridge starts up on the cooling cycle as well. He may have been spraying at that unfortunate time. He even smoked out his neighbors! Hopefully they weren't doing anything naughty when the fire engines arrived...

That's why I always say that you have to keep your apartment clean. Food crumbs and spilt sugary liquids are an open invitation to critters to come in and enjoy the free buffet.

This reminds me of the flaming mouse that burned down that old bag's house in New Mexico! That was definitely a case of instant karma if there ever was one.

Un-Biased Reporting At It's Best...

McCain Campaign: New York Times Blocked Op-Ed Response to Obama

After reading the actual Op-Ed that the times refused to print I am alarmed as to why it would be rejected.

Time's op-ed editor David Shipley writes:

“It would be terrific to have an article from Senator McCain that mirrors Senator Obama’s piece. To that end, the article would have to articulate, in concrete terms, how Senator McCain defines victory in Iraq. It would also have to lay out a clear plan for achieving victory — with troops levels, timetables and measures for compelling the Iraqis to cooperate. And it would need to describe the Senator’s Afghanistan strategy, spelling out how it meshes with his Iraq plan,”.

Give me a fucking break! For one thing the reason we have elections is to make a choice between different points of view. Key word: DIFFERENT. Why would we want to read a rehash of what Osama, I mean, Obama had to say. He probably didn't even write that himself as he has a plethora of speech writers on speed dial I'm sure.

It clearly states that a decision about troop withdrawal depends on the climate and circumstances of the situation as McCain clearly states, "I have also said that any draw-downs must be based on a realistic assessment of conditions on the ground, not on an artificial timetable crafted for domestic political reasons. "

Seriously, I can go on about this but I digress...The fact that the Times is trying to censor and, what looks like to me, plant a firm root into mainstream America's decision on the next President, whomever that may be (duh, I feel like it's the coronation of the prom queen all of a sudden), makes me kind of ill.

If you give one person coverage, give the other equal time or equal access to avenues in order to get THEIR message out and not what your editor thinks they should say. I'd like to hear what the candidate thinks he/she should be saying.

Hell, if David Shipley thought we wanted to hear what he thinks should be said about the war then he should have ran for President. Otherwise, shut the hell up and do what you are paid to do- and that would be unbiased reporting you douchebag...

Part 2...Coincidence...

So I just took a gander at the offenders website and sure enough, ANOTHER article is on there! WHAT THE FUCK? At least he had the common sense to use a different link this time.

Fucking dirtbag...

Coincidence? Probably Not...

Okay, this is going to sound far fetched but it has happened entirely too many times to be a coincidence. Last Friday's latest hijack kinda set me off.

I think a certain other blogger is ripping off my material.

There, I've said it. It seems that when I post a totally bizarre story it interestingly enough shows up on his site either later that same day or the day after with the same link associated with the story.

Now, I know that it is a free country and all but dude, DO YOUR OWN FUCKING RESEARCH! Or at least thank me for finding the article. A few friends have said that I should either change the URL of my site or kill off this one and start anew. Unfortunately, I have worked my ass off getting this one where it is so I think that I'll stay put...for now.

So shady and lame and you know who you are...Mario.

It is kind of flattering in a way but at the same time a little gratitude would be nice. That's all I'm saying...

Interesting Disappearance...

"Where is Caylee Marie? 'We implore everyone to get the word out,' uncle pleads"

So, I've been strangely interested in this story about the compulsive liar mother in Florida (of course) who's baby is missing...

A little background:

The baby was "missing" for 5 weeks before she actually said anything about it. The grandparents were the ones who made the call to the police as they were getting the runaround from the mother as to where the child was.

She claims that she dropped off the baby at a "sitter's" house and then the woman disappeared with her child. The cops go to the house that she says she dropped the infant off at and discover that it had been vacant for 5 months prior and that no one actually lived there. The police soon caught up with the woman identified as the "sitter" and learned that she actually didn't even know who the mother (Casey Marie Anthony) or the baby (Caylee Marie) were.

The liar then told police she worked at Universal Studios and listed a few people who could vouch for her, as they were employees as well, and come to find out - she didn't even work there and neither did any of the people she listed!

So then it comes out that the mother actually borrowed a shovel from her own parent's neighbor about a month ago and the police have now excavated the grandparents yard looking for the remains of the child. Nothing was found. Cadaver dogs and everything were brought out.

She also claims that the father of Caylee is not alive, but now they are considering that that may be a lie as well and are looking into that avenue.

That brings us current and now the police are trying to talk to all her friends to see if she may have said or done something that may give them clues.

This is actually interesting because they have also ruled out drug activity for the most part and are focusing on other areas. The first thing I thought was that she probably was high and then something happened to the baby and she had to get rid of the evidence. They have ruled out drug use as she wasn't an addict or anything and from all reports, she really loved and cared for the baby. So I think that I may be partly right, in that, it was some type of neglect issue but not from drugs.

In any case, I think the kid is probably dead and it's just a matter of time finding out where she ditched the body. Florida has a lot of swamp land and a lot of alligators, as gross a thought as it is, I'm sure that it's probably a good guess to assume they have something to do with the little girls disappearance.

Here We Go Again...

"Missing Fort Bliss Soldier Found Alive, Sister Says "

Not another one...

Why is it all of a sudden all these military men are fucking offing their wives? Seems like this is becoming more commonplace as of late.

Don't they do psychological testing on their inductees or are they just taking any disturbed individual and putting a uniform on them?

I think the punishment needs to be more harsh for this kind of crap as they are basically police officers for the nation. Thank God this one turned out better than the rest. They are usual found in a pile of ashes in the guy's back yard...

More Political Fodder...

"Bill Clinton Ready to Campaign for Obama ‘Whenever’"

God, I love Bill Clinton. He totally rules...

I was watching this yesterday as I was on the elliptical trainer and you could totally see he wasn't really into the Obama thing. I don't blame him as I agree with what their (Hilly and Billy's) campaigning was all about from the get go. He's (Obama) too inexperienced and too arrogant. He's been in national politics for what, about 2 years? Give me a fucking break. That's like hiring a very recent college graduate to run your billion dollar company right off the bat. The only change I see coming from him in office is a total meltdown and I am very scared of what that is going to be like. I wouldn't mind if he ran like in 8 years but now, HELL NO.

After seeing most of these polls shifting towards McCain, my fears are subsiding a bit and I have to get on the ball with reregistering in the new place I just moved to so I can vote for McCain this November. I may be a Democrat but I'm not a sheep...

I actually agree with Clinton's remark:

"If all of us lived on live mics, then 100 percent of us in this room would be embarrassed from time to time..."

Can you imagine the shit that comes out of other people's mouths when they think they are not being heard? I can't believe some of the things I say, let alone what other's may be barking out at times.

We're Out of Milk, Just Use Gravy On Those Frosted Flakes...

"More Than One in Four American Adults Now Obese"

This really doesn't bode well for the future of America...

Why is it that whenever they show show a fat person in the media they are:
a) Always alone or shot in some way to seem like an outcast?
b) Always eating something and it's usually take-out or fast food of some kind?
c) The photo is taken at the most cruel angles in order to get the maximum fat roll content?

I thought these statements were interesting:

"Why is the South so heavy? The traditional Southern diet — high in fat and fried food — may be part of the answer..."

"The South also has a large concentration of rural residents and black women — two groups that tend to have higher obesity rates..."

"In today's America, poor people tend to be obese: The cheapest foods tend to be calorie-heavy, and stores offering healthier, and more expensive, food choices often are not found in poor neighborhoods..."

I can hear Al Sharpton's computer keyboard clicking away constructing his next public outcry of racism and demonization of the southern black community. Actually, I would lean towards agreeing with him. While the statistics are probably true, taken in context, I think they are a little biased.

In relation to the number of black people that are in the south, the rates of obesity are higher yes, but the overall number of fat black women compared to fat white women is most likely significantly lower. So, I ask, what's their excuse. They say that the blacks are fat because of basically "fried food and no money to buy healthier items", so what's the reason for fat white folk? If they have the stores with the healthy food and the money to buy it, why the hell are they busting at the seems also?

Seems to me that the reason that everyone is fat is because we stuff our faces with crap and are to lazy to work it off. That's why I gained some poundage. Not because I'm "poor" (who isn't really nowadays) or "ethnic", it's because I got lazy and decided that I wanted a pizza and some beer rather than that grilled chicken salad and iced tea. Simple as that.

So what do we need to do to overcome this? Get the fuck off the couch, put down the fork and get to running or some other activity that sucks ass but slims you down. I have actually started to go back to the gym and have now logged 9 miles on the elliptical trainer in the past 3 days. Not where I was when I started the pizza diet but definitely above my expectations. When I get back to 4 miles a day and lifting weights again, I will be happy with the effort.

And it does get easier as you go along, as cliched as that may sound. You just have to suffer for a bit to reap the reward... and suffer I am right now...

Redux: No Tears Shed Here...

"'TIPSY' DETECTIVE BACK ON THE JOB: 'PROUD' COMMISH IN FLIP ON 'OFF-DUTY SHOOT' SLAP"

As I wrote about previously, I think this cop was a hero for doing what he did.

I'm kind of surprised that they reversed their decision so quickly. Someone over there has a brain...Thankfully...

Is That A Banana In Your Pocket Or Do I Just Start Blowing You Here?...

"Women arrested in sex competition"

Finally a sport that I could feasibly get into!

So, my first question would be: How much was the first place prize worth? And my second question is: How much time would I get to "practice"?

You know these were stupid college girls all drunk on holiday getting loud and obnoxious in a bar. The bar owners probably saw an "in" when one of them most likely got on the bar and started to drop cloth and the idea was probably born at that time.

Ah, the memories of college life come flying back. The late night parties. The enormous amounts of booze and cigarettes. The vomitous climax after crawling back to the dorm. Good times, good times...

Think Of This The Next Time You Eat Octopus!...

"'Beast' Man Jailed for Possessing 31,000 Animal Porn Images"

This is a little unsettling...

Well, it's a little unsettling because I've basically seen images of everything but the tiger myself. Most of this shit comes out of Japan! They really like their animal and scat porn over there.

Ewww, the internet is a dirty little world I tell ya, LOL...

Daddy, Not Tonight I Have Tooth Ache From My Pacifier...

"World's Greatest Dad' Arrested As Predator"

How gross to find out your dad or husband was doing this behind your back...

LOL! Nothing like having your professionally taken picture plastered all over the place with that shirt on for a child sex sting. I'm sure his whole neighborhood is now checking email and phone records of their chillin's.

When are these assholes going to realize that YOU DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO, NEVER, NO WAY!!!!

Bare Naked Ladies Indeed!...

"Barenaked Ladies singer arrested"

It's been One Week since you snorted with me..

That's disappointing. I always saw him as a heroin addict and not a coke addict.

The title of their children's CD should be renamed "Cracktime" instead of "Snacktime"...

I'll Take A Number 1 With A Side Of Discrimination...

"I'm Not Lovin' It: Hearing Impaired Woman Sues McDonald's Over Refusal to Use Drive-Thru"

Another frivolous lawsuit...

Well, this one is so ridiculous I don't know where to start first of all, if you are feeding your kids fucking fast food all the time you need to be slapped upside the head.

The article states that on 3 occasions this particular Mickey D's did not "accommodate" her and "Other McDonald's restaurants in Lincoln have accommodated Tumeh, Mora James said." She also states that "other drive-thru, fast-food restaurants have a policy to allow deaf and hard-of-hearing people to order at the drive-thru window.", implying that she has been through these before and has first hand knowledge of their practices. Stay at home and cook a healthy meal for your autistic children you idiot. I go to McDonalds probably 3 times a year and that's out of sheer desperation for leaving my lunch at home or having been forced to while traveling...

Secondly, if your too lazy to get the fuck out of the car and go inside, regardless of your children's issues, then again STAY HOME! Why should the rest of society cow toe to you because you got dealt some shitty cards in the game of life? Recent studies have shown a child's nutritional intake can affect their physical and mental state and may lead to things such as autism. How about spending time researching your child's issues instead of wasting time suing others over stupid shit.

Here's the reason why they won't let her order at the window. When you place an order at a drive-thru, your order is automatically put in a queue and made in the order that they are placed. In theory, if you are the 3rd person in a line your order will be made third. This helps the employee keep track of who has what and keeps the line moving.

If you order at the window, this fucks up the whole queue and then your order has to be put in front of all the rest and, in essence, the rest of the people's food, which may or may not be on the grill at that time (ready to come off) will get cold leading to complaints and orders having to be remade. What does this equal?- Wasted food, as those items will get trashed because they are not up to standard and will also lead to wasted profits as the money spent on that order is literally "thrown away" and more money wasted as new product has to be used. Not to mention, you have basically caused everyone behind you to wait longer because your ass had to order at the window and couldn't just walk in, basically defeating the purpose of a "FAST FOOD DRIVE-THRU". Hence the term FAST...

Also, if the other Mikey D's accommodated her, I would like to know at what time of the day was that specifically? How many cars were there in line? How many orders were there at the time? If there were none, it wouldn't be a problem. Also, at what locations? Some locations have less business than others and can be far less busy and have the time to do so for the deaf woman.

McDonalds theoretically could have helped her but the question is at what cost would that have been to do so? I see 2 solutions to this issue if you absolutely HAVE TO go to Mc's to feed your kids:

1) Write the order down before you go to the restaurant and walk in and give it to the cashier at the front counter. This speeds up the order process for both of you and you spend less time having to wrangle your kids up at the counter. You can sit and wait while the order is being processed and everyone's happy.

2) If you absolutely have to order at the window, do so and you'll have to park your ass in a parking space and wait while that order comes up in the system. That way people behind you are still getting theirs made in a timely fashion and able to physically receive those orders in the window and wouldn't have to wait while your is being processed while their Big Macs are sitting in a bag waiting for you to move your ass from the window. I'm sure they probably gave her this option and it would be interesting to see if she turned that down and refused to park.

Either way, it's a stupid lawsuit. The next thing that will happen is that restaurants will get sued for not having someone at the window who understands every fucking foreign language thereby making the ordering process racist and exclusionary...

No Tears Shed Here...

"TRIGGER COP WAS 'LOADED': FAILS 'BELL' BOOZE TEST"

Why are we even questioning this?

As far as I'm concerned, the creep got was was coming to him.

First of all, there is no fucking reason you should be schlocking a Tech-9 around other than you are out looking for trouble.

Secondly, the guys a hero for taking out this douchebag. Had he not shot the guy, he most likely would have killed someone and then the cop would have been blamed for not taking action.

Thirdly, fuck these thugs, they get what is coming to them.

Perfect example why we don't need guns on the street...

I Didn't Know Amy Wino Was In Town...

"Cops: Woman Battered Beau With Toilet Seat: Floridian, 18, attacked after finding boyfriend smoking crack in loo"

Ha ha ha! Now this is my kind of woman...

If you have an 8 month old child the last thing you need to be spending money on is crack dumb ass! He was probably supposed to go out and buy pampers and instead he came back with stones. The piece de resistance of the whole event was the domestic violence pamphlet that was left at the scene of the crime.

If I had the money, I would totally bail this chick out and pay for her lawyer, but I don't so it's a moot point...

Lindsey Lohan In About 30 Years...

"Stripper, 80, still taking her clothes off"

Ewwww...

After seeing those hands of hers, I thank the powers that be and the online editor for not showing us the Full Monty in this article...

Who Ordered The Microwaveable Rat In A Bag Special?...

"Wisconsin Woman Accused of Planting Dead Rat in Own Food"

What a nutcase...

Everyone knows that if your are going to plant a rodent in your food, you sure as hell better use a field mouse and not a white lab right you stupid idiot!

I think that her punishment should be to actually eat the rat, tail and all, exactly as she had planted it in her food. Maybe we could televise it also or simply make a new reality show about extortionist crime or stupid criminals in which the punishments are dealt out before a live studio audience. Probably be better than most of the dreck that's out there now...

Fat Guy In Little Coat...

Ever see these buffaloes in those Hoover Round scooters who are so enormous, they can't even walk anymore and simply live in one of these things? Well, we have one here in our building, and she's a bitch extraordinaire.

So, I'm at my usual morning haunt, A Bunch of Pain, and I see Miss Universe (I call her that because she thinks the world revolves around her) sitting in front of the cookie/brownie display case looking all pissed off. From previous experience and run ins, I make it a point to totally AVOID her ass as she has intentionally run over my foot once before after I asked her to "please scoot over" in the elevator lobby as she was literally blocking the fucking entryway, but I digress...

Anyway, I grab my bagel after some maneuvering as she is right next to the poppy seeds and get in line. Meanwhile she is thumbing through the case looking for what, I assume, is the perfect cookie. As I am being rung up, she makes it a point to rip the poor girl a new butthole because the cookies have now gotten smaller, or so she believes they have, over the past year and she feels she's entitled to a "free" few (not one but a few). The girl is telling her that she is sorry, but she can't do that and the woman grabs her bag of cookies (she actually purchased about 4 or 5) and speeds off into the sunset griping.

The whole time I am thinking what a total lonely bitch this woman must be. She is seriously off putting, as displayed by her demeanor towards others, and the fact that she uses that GD chair as a weapon certainly doesn't help her cause either. Sad. I'm surprised that engine has held up this long. I remember her screaming at someone once that she was "handicapped" and the person said, "No, you're just fat!"...

Who Knew...

Who knew the worst toilet in a row of restroom stalls was the middle seat!

I guess I need to remember to use the other toilets in a bathroom other than the one in the middle. Interesting, I wish the article said why. It's kind of funny to me as the last toilet in a row seems to be the busiest, at least in restrooms that I have been in...


Afterthought: (that last line just sounded wrong after reading this again!)

Needed To Be Said...

"Woah 'Mamma' ... Gay Crowd Snubbed?"

Totally ridiculous...

Alright, something has to be said about this crap.

I AM SO TIRED of people shoving gayness up in everyone's face. This doesn't make you any less of a human or better of one.

I AM SO TIRED of non-gay people threatening to kill the gays because they can't get married. Just let gays get married and they'll most likely shut the fuck up. What do you care anyway? Is there some secret list of marriages that you are keeping in your well fortified safe that you have to keep tabs on? Are you trying to save the planet by not having as many flowers slashed down because of an overflow of weddings that may or may not happen? Does the fact that the little grooms and brides that go on top of a cake will now have to be sold separately bother you?

I AM SO TIRED every time something such as this "snub" happens it's because "we're gay". No, it's not because you are gay but if you keep this shit up, it will be. Nobody likes to go to parties where the hosts are crybaby assholes. Just keep that in mind...

HELLO! The damn movie isn't even gay themed! Just because us fags like ABBA and that the music of ABBA just happens to be the tie throughout a movie doesn't mean that said movie is automatically "gay"! Get a life fellow faggots.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed of the gay community because we get caught up in such ridiculous drama. So the people didn't show up to the opening. WHO THE HELL CARES! Maybe they didn't feel like working that day. Have you ever woke up and said, "Oh screw it, I'm calling out today."? We have all done it at some point in life and who are we to judge someone else for doing the same thing?

Get over it and move on...

A Possible Reason For The Insanity We Call The Cube Farm...

"Desk rage spoils workplace for many Americans"

Maybe that donut from the parking garage this morning has this so-called "Desk Rage".

I have actually seen quite a few people lose their shit at work in my lifetime. Of course, you never see them again, but at least you got a good show before the ax fell.

Drama In The Parking Garage...

So...This morning I was tongue lashed by an ugly women with a bad wig. What, you say? Well, it all started with a simple question...

I am driving into the parking garage and parking in my usual area when I see this guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. No big deal, right?

So I park and get out of my truck and then see another guy (I used to work with him before he transferred to another floor) wearing a Hawaiian shirt and jeans also. No big deal, right?

So I walk to the elevator and see ANOTHER person, this time an older haggish looking creature wearing a very bad wig, which was on slightly crooked and quite possibly had a chin strap, who was also wearing a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. So I ask her, "Is it Hawaiian shirt day on one of the floors?". She then precedes to rip me a new asshole and claims that I am being rude by having the nerve to ask her that. She also screams a question as to whether she should return home and change just to satisfy my fashion taste. The first thing I thought was "Fuck you", but instead of saying that I tell her, not only was her response rude but she should leave her crabbiness at home before she comes to work Crabby McCrab, (yes I did call her that).

So we are walking out and I didn't bother to hold the door for her...

My question is this, Was it entirely rude of me to ask that question or was this Harpie just looking for a fight?

Blackhole Or Void-Of-All-Color-Hole?...

"Texas County Official Sees Race in Term 'Black Hole'"

Give me a break!

Seriously, I am getting so sick of people crying racism every time they have a chance to. Then when there actually IS a legitimate case of racism that happens, no one actually cares about it or has some doubt to it's authenticity.

I'm mixed myself and do I get all up in arms when someone makes a comment about drunk Indians or Wetbacks? Not really. Do I care? Not really. I have more important things to worry about like bills, food, entertainment and of course my fat little pugs.

Take the high road people and get over it. If you make issues out of nothing, not only does your point get buried in the drama, people are not going to care about your point as a result. In fact, the next time you have an important point to make, you are not going to be heard.

Back to the article...Do I think that the guy was being racist when he said "blackhole"? Absolutely not. Do I think that the people who took offense to this were being racist, ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY! They intentionally used the racism card to scare the guy from the topic and shift it to another area that was completely off topic. They were using the perception of being "thought of as a racist" to scare someone into complying with their side of the issue. This is actually a great tool to use in debate, so the accusers are somewhat savvy to this I suspect.

All in all, I wish people would just get over it and get their own lives straight...

A-Rod or A-Hole?...

"ALEX FIRES BACK IN BID FOR KIDS: C-ROD 'PREVENTED HIM FROM SEEING HIS DAUGHTERS"

Cheating husbands, my favorite.

"A-Rod's spokesman, Richard Rubenstein, said, "He is burning to see his children, and fully intends to play a role in their future."

Are you sure he's not burning because of the gono or syph he probably has from all the strippers he's been porking in Miami?

This guy is such a loser. No matter how much fame or money you have, it's never okay to kiss your wife and kids goodnight and then go fuck a few strippers downtown. Maybe he should have been with his kids, if he is so hurt that he can't see them, instead of cavorting around with ho's every chance he got.

Totally gross...you don't know where that pinga has been...

He Gets Crabby At Dinner...Our 200th Post!

"Wife: Man who died didn't order crab dish: No criminal charges will be filed"

This one is a hard one to decide. I like Ruby Tuesday Restaurants and have only had good experiences there.

Here's my take on this one: One of 2 things could have happened here. The customer ordered the entree without reading what exactly was in the dish or the server wrote down the wrong entree and keyed it into the order system.

It couldn't be a kitchen error because the food was prepared according to what was printed on the ticket. So it's not like they made the wrong dish. It can't be an expediting error as the correct food, according to the ticket, was made and brought out to the table. So it had to be server error if this is going to work.

I have seen this many times when I was serving back in the day. The customer orders something and then when it is brought out they either don't like the look of it, have changed their minds or want something free and they will tell you that you brought the wrong food out. It's very annoying and happens more than you would think. Then again, I've also seen servers forget what the hell the customer ordered because they are preoccupied with something else and punch in the wrong item just to get the ticket going. So this is a tough one. But in this case I would think that the customer probably ordered the wrong thing.

They should be looking into a few things though, like how many complaints has this server had in the past for wrong orders? Is this a pattern they have? Was everyone else's order correct at the table? And if the guy was allergic to shellfish, why in the hell did he NOT smell the crab in the entree. Crab has a very distinctive odor and your average person could reasonably discern that there was something "fishy" with the food.

Bottom line is that the server, even though they did repeat the order to the customer, should have pointed out that there was shellfish in that particular dish during the ordering phase. Just as they should point out if peanut oil was used in the preparation of a dish. Common sense...

Side Note:

This is our 200th post! I didn't think I would make it this far!

Daddy Dearest...

"Bin Laden's son in web terror rant"

The Crown Prince of Terror? Looks more like a reject straight out of that Breakin' movie from the 80's, headband and all!

I say they find this little shit and bomb him too. In a few years we'll be regretting that we didn't.

It's really sad that a whole group of people are so into their religious beliefs that they are ruled by them. I love God (or whatever higher being you prefer) but I'm not going to kill every single person out there that disagrees with what I believe. I think that the Bible is a great work of fiction, somewhat akin to Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes, that teaches great lessons in compassion, trust, hope and charity but you can not take it literally. I think there are some moments there that are absolutely true and I think some moments are exaggerated and then some are pure fiction. Being able to decipher which is which makes you, dare I say- sane and functional. But I digress...

This kid is a powder keg waiting for someone to light the fuse. I actually feel sorry for this terrorist offspring in that he was probably raised and brainwashed, since he was in diapers, to believe that people from the evil West are scum. I would say that it's probably too late to reeducate him at this point but it certainly is not to late to save the rest of the world from another 9/11 or tube bombing, as was perpetrated in England.

You know he is just itching to make a statement that will enamour him to the many Bin Laden minions, but one that will also tell the world that he has arrived. Something bigger and better than what his father has done...something to make dad proud of his son. Scary thought...

Fuck The Exterminator, I Got's A Gun...

"Woman Shoots Herself While Trying to Kill Mice"

Mice

One word: Idiot

You Tell Me...

So, I'm going to sound like a total racist here but it is what it is...

The building that I live in is a fairly nice 5 story condo enclave with "key access only" around the perimeter and a lobby accessible only by a key and call box which every unit is hooked into. Sounds pretty safe right? We have parking by permit and security that patrols every so often (I can't really say they are effective but they are present).

So, there was virtually a zero percent crime rate on the premises until (at least since I have been there and it's going on 3 years as of August)...here it comes (the racist part)...several black families have moved in. Apparently, a few owners have decided to buy up the empty units and rent them out. Since said families have moved into the complex, we have had several cars broken into, a motorcycle stolen, a few of the garages have been broken into (some have had the fencing separating them cut with bolt cutters) and items stolen from these privately owned garages, the laundry room has become a dumping ground for all kinds of shit like garbage, old unwanted clothes and miscellaneous household items such as air filters, pots, etc. The elevator has had the lights replaced at least twice because someone keeps popping the light bulbs, not to mention someone has taken to etching all kinds of graffiti into the doors of said elevator with a key possibly and there is now trash being left all over the fucking place like the hallways, elevator and grounds.

We recently got a notice from the association stating that "someone" has recently been throwing their cigarette butts out the window of their unit and has started the bushes directly below them on fire not once but twice!

Isn't there a fucking pre-rental screening of the possible occupants? WTF?

I feel like I have now all of a sudden been moved into ghetto-ville. I also have a guy (yes he is black also) who just moved into a studio down the hall from me. Apparently, there are now 5 people living in that studio including a very loud girlfriend and her 2 year old child, a shady looking 6 foot 7 inch friend whom I have caught "accidentally" trying the doors of other's on the floor and some random guy who shows up every other week. And believe me, they are not quiet in the least.

So you tell me, am I racist or am I right? I don't see any coincidences here actually...

Shut Up And Watch Me Eat...

"G8 summit: Gordon Brown has eight-course dinner before food crisis talks"

Gordon, can you pass the A-1 steak sauce?

So you're probably wondering what they ate? :

"The dinner consisted of 18 dishes in eight courses including caviar, smoked salmon, Kyoto beef and a "G8 fantasy dessert"...The banquet was accompanied by five different wines from around the world including champagne, a French Bourgogne and sake. "

Side note:

"African leaders including the heads of Ethiopia, Tanzania and Senegal who had taken part in talks during the day were not invited to the function. "

This just goes to show what hypocrites politicians are and the sketchiness of these so called "summits". Kind of fucked up how they didn't invite the Africans, LOL. Then again they probably would have made them serve the food had they been invited...

Gotta Make That Donut Money Somehow...

"FLDS fashions for kids sold on enterprising Web site: Mothers say Texas raid forced them to market their clothing style"

Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph. A Clothing line for the kiddies.

Molesting dirty old men sold separately...

I wonder if the website has a rape bed for sale also, just like the ones in the church loft in Texas...

More Stunts To Cause A Riff...

"Black national anthem' stirs controversy for city"

Why start this kind of uproar?

This is what I am talking about. If you are picked to sing the national anthem, then sing the national anthem. Don't insert your own agenda into the proceedings.

If this had been a "White national anthem" sung by a white lady, Al Sharpton would have been on TV, Jesse Jackson would have thrown his hat into the foray and all hell would have broken loose.

People cry about racism and discrimination but the same groups that make the most noise always separate themselves with antics like this and feed the fire. The more we separate ourselves the less chance we have of overcoming racism. It's heartbreaking actually and infuriating at the same time...

Are You Serious?...

So last night I am watching my new favorite show "Wipeout" and they break into programing for a special announcement: "Angelina Jolie checks into hospital to deliver twins".

ARE YOU SERIOUS? I like her and all but give me a GD break.

There are millions of people being tortured and starved around the world. People are being beaten senseless and forced to vote for a total tyrant in sham elections, gas prices have caused the global economy to shit the bed and we are more interested in Brangelina's babies popping out?

Are they going to broadcast her stubbing her toe next? Totally ridiculous...

WAH! That Dog Is Dirty! WAH!...

"Muslims outraged at police advert featuring cute puppy sitting in policeman's hat"

Complainers are the worst. It's like they intentionally seek out shit to cry about. I bet there have been a few instances where a dog has saved a Muslim's ass throughout history and the dog probably didn't even think twice about it either.

I am getting so sick of these dumbass religious groups butting their elitist noses into everything and anything. Just shut the fuck up and mind your own business. Like you have nothing better to do than to create drama about a cute little puppy.

I am actually kind of perplexed because you usually don't hear of this kind of crap happening outside of the US. I know that everyone has a right to their opinion and that is great; just don't shove it down everyone's throat. If you don't like dogs, then don't get one. If you don't like the poster, than don't look at the God damn thing. Simple as that.

Looking at that picture has got me thinking. I would like to pose my pugs in the same manner but with a Santa hat. I think it would make a cute Christmas card. Maybe I'll send them out to some Muslims, LOL...That was sick, ha ha ha...I just have to make sure that the stamps have baby pigs on them...

I Know You Are But What Am I?,,,

"Bolivian President Calls Peruvian Head of State 'Fat,' Incites War of Words"

Yo mama is fat!

Too funny! They look so happy in the picture. I can just imagine what these two say about each other in private. So high school...

I guess there is a lot worse things that the guy could have said. Such as "Your mama wears combat boots" or "Go fly a kite"...

I Think He Described The Room Quite Well Actually...

"British Student Writes Nothing but Expletive on Exam, Gets Credit for Spelling"

What, no punctuation? How rude!

I'm trying to think if my English teacher from high school, Mr. Horton, would have given me credit for writing "Fuck off" on the final essay exam. I think maybe not. Although he was my uncle's best friend and I had seen him "fucked up" on quite a few occasions.

Perhaps I could have used the drunken partying and puke incidents as some sort of blackmail thingy to get a good grade. Oh well, you live and you learn. I did end up with an A-...fucker...he couldn't at least bump it up to an A!!!!

I'd Ask This Guy To Watch My House...

"Texas Man Cleared of Shooting Suspected Burglars Next Door"

Maybe Hernando and Diego should have gotten a job at the local Dairy Queen instead of ripping people off...

I heard the actual 911 call on this case a few months back and it was ridiculous. The guy was telling the dispatcher that he was going to shoot the 2 guys and guess what, he actually did! LOL. He sounded like your typical redneck but you what, I'd totally want this guy to be my neighbor. It sends a message out to these assholes who steal and rob from you that if your caught around here, you may not make it home to rob another family the next day.

I don't feel one bit sorry for the douches that were shot. Serves them right. Go get a fucking job and buy your own stuff...