Ever see these buffaloes in those Hoover Round scooters who are so enormous, they can't even walk anymore and simply live in one of these things? Well, we have one here in our building, and she's a bitch extraordinaire.
So, I'm at my usual morning haunt, A Bunch of Pain, and I see Miss Universe (I call her that because she thinks the world revolves around her) sitting in front of the cookie/brownie display case looking all pissed off. From previous experience and run ins, I make it a point to totally AVOID her ass as she has intentionally run over my foot once before after I asked her to "please scoot over" in the elevator lobby as she was literally blocking the fucking entryway, but I digress...
Anyway, I grab my bagel after some maneuvering as she is right next to the poppy seeds and get in line. Meanwhile she is thumbing through the case looking for what, I assume, is the perfect cookie. As I am being rung up, she makes it a point to rip the poor girl a new butthole because the cookies have now gotten smaller, or so she believes they have, over the past year and she feels she's entitled to a "free" few (not one but a few). The girl is telling her that she is sorry, but she can't do that and the woman grabs her bag of cookies (she actually purchased about 4 or 5) and speeds off into the sunset griping.
The whole time I am thinking what a total lonely bitch this woman must be. She is seriously off putting, as displayed by her demeanor towards others, and the fact that she uses that GD chair as a weapon certainly doesn't help her cause either. Sad. I'm surprised that engine has held up this long. I remember her screaming at someone once that she was "handicapped" and the person said, "No, you're just fat!"...
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2 comments:
Seems to me that many of the people driving around in those things suffer from a comparatively minor physical disability coupled with a more damaging but less-visible mental one.
In Hometown, we had an octaganerian-appearing guy who drove up to Mme's table at the local farmer's market. Mme was setting up down the street. Here's the story
I was a block-and-a-half away when he came speeding past me as fast as he could go. I damn near dropped hot coffee on his getaway vehicle.
On another occasion, also at the market, an elderly lady on a scooter (who has since become known for her total ignorance of the term "share the pavement") ran straight into an even older woman on a walker, knocking her down. The scooter driver attempted to escape, but was prevented by some Concerned Citizens.
When told she'd run someone down, she seemed not at all to understand. And eventually she putted off. Because as far as I know, reckless and annoying operation of a mobility scooter isn't, alas, a crime.
Yet.
Your story is eerily similiar to those pratical jokes the guys from the tv series/movies "Jackass" play on each other dressing up as old people and either dying in the middle of a street on the scooter or crashing into people and storefronts and driving off on them...
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